UP Date
Well I have to fight every day to get through. Not only my emotions but my health all so. My husband never understands and I hide my emotions as best I can from him. I feel like a actress pretending every thing is ok. My Denise who passed away 6 years ago had 3 girls ,A set of twins and the youngest we call Danie, she looks just like her mother. For some reason they do not bring her up. We seem to clash a lot. there twins are 25 and Danie 23. I have a son but were not close his wife keeps him from me ,why I do not know,except we were close and I think she did not like that. My son was married twice and has 5 children. I have 12 grandchildren. But still feel lonely and wonder why all this has happened. I have lost a husband ,a baby, my parents and now my lovely Denise. I have migraines and menerie's and fibramyalgia and IBS and acid reflux and anxiety. well I have to stop for now.
Replies
I can relate to your situation. I don;t have a husband, but really get depressed and lonely. Just had 3 bad migraine days.. Alone, keep it to myself. I have heard so many jokes and comments over the years it\'s best to say nothing. This is the only place I even bring it up. Hope you have a better day.
Dear Squarley,
My heart hurts for you and all the losses you are dealing with on a daily basis. Not only are you grieving the loss of the multiple relationship changes, but the losses that come from your health issues. It is easy to begin feeling like the whole world is against you.
It has been my experience that when people do not know how to face their painful emotions of grief, it is not uncommon then to not mention the name of the deceased. It\'s this false fantasy world of, \"if I don\'t mention the name, then I won\'t have to remember they are gong, and then I won\'t have to feel the pain associated with it.\" The unfortunate side of that is by doing this it also prevents these families from sharing love and being open with one another about other areas of their life.
It sounds like you are the only one who is wanting to deal with things openly, but keep hitting a brick wall. It\'s no wonder your body is suffering, it is expressing the grief that can\'t be verbalized.
Several years ago I came across a wonderful book called \"Tear Soup\" by Pat Schwiebert and Chuck DeKlyen. It is written as a story book, but I have found it to be absolutely wonderful. You can find it at www.tearsoup.com they have some wonderful resources.
I have also been wanting to share another book with you, but never had it by the computer when I was on-line. It\'s called \"Beginning Again: Benedictine Wisdom for Living with Illness\". I am currently reading this as part of an on-line retreat for people with chronic disease. I am finding it to be very helpful.
Lastly - I know you feel alone - I want you to know, that at least through this community you are not alone, you are not abnormal - you are strong and brave and a special gift.
Blessings
Sweet girl, you are in such pain, emotionally and physically. If I knew any good advice I would gladly share it but I don\'t. I just want you to know that I, as are the other Moms here, are hearing your words and wishing and praying that things get better for you. Sending you love and prayers for peace. Terry
grief takes it\'s toll, not just in heart ache, but also headache, backache, all physical manifestations you can have...
my experience is that it is easier for the kids NOT to mention their mom a lot of the times it\'s not that they love her any less, it just hurts less.
We Mom\'s know that we want our children\'s name spoken out LOUD.. we don\'t want people to forget they ARE our precious JENN and DENISE...
Hugs dear friend,
MaryLou
Thank you all so much ,this helps to know I am not alone ,its hard for us all ,but we have each other ,thank you God for friends
i do know what you mean about husband not understanding my own tries to but i know he dreads asking how i am iv even heard him sigh so i tend to say im ok its a good job i have you to understand what this is like i really feel for you you are in my thoughts and prayers you sound so nice take care love to you my friend