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This is just not my day I am trying to get my life into shape and it feels like its going down the crapper, I had one good day and now i'm lost.  I lost my refuge because we were expecting a lot of rain, so now i don't know what to do, and i feel so confused. I've been writing a blog that has been for my family to see inside of my world something i've never done even when i lived with them never mind being 3000 miles away from my family.  I've had no comments or even a discussion with anyone, my husband just makes excuses not to read it, its a good thing i'm doing this for myself cause it feels like i'm just talking to myself. It makes my heart hurt, and makes the struggle even more of a struggle because it seems like i'm putting my heart out there for everyone, and they are just ignoring me!!