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I don't know what I'm doing anymore, my life doesn't seem real or at least I don't. You know... I try so hard, I just want to please everyone. I do everything I can think to make my parents like me and to get there approval. I'm nearly always home and that, for me, is the most depressing thing possible. No... fuck this, my body hurts. My head is empty, my heart turned black and cold, beaten and torn... I hate being alive, I hate feeling this way, even more I hate that I don't have the strength to end it.
 
I'm too weak, a fuck up on society. And yet.... I have this sort of dark hope, always in the back of my thoughts.
 
im done writing. bye.