Unsure of What to Say..
In other areas outside of looming reunions...I've noticed lately that sometimes I just don't know what to say. On several of the groups I am a member of, the parents of sexual abuse victims, the N survivors and even the HSP group.
And, okay, I will clarify, that maybe I would say something, but that what I might say is not really what is needed (and likely not wanted) at that time. I do my best to share my experience, be sympathetic, relate, and be helpful.
I just find these days that it is much harder to not say something like...no, don't do that, such a waste of energy, or no, no, no, protect your child and stop the denial and wake up, or...I don't know, many personal thoughts. Of course, I know and understand that I've been there, was that person, and also, that my experience is mine and not someone elses, and that I can't judge. I was told a million times to get away before I got away. My mom felt (although never voiced) that something was happening, but without any proof kept silent (her father sexually abused her older sister their entire youths) and I know that all one can do is support.
I don't know, just something I noted lately, that I see many posts, think about responding and just can't, really. I don't think it is as much about not wanting to hurt the person, but more my own thoughts that someone else might better respond or that I just don't have that much energy. And I guess, as far as my own energy level, this is a healthy thing for me. I feel much the same as others respond to my journal entries and I never seem to find the time by the time I do everything else to respond to theirs!
Maybe there is a bit of me that does wish I could help more and is just now realizing that I have a million and one things happening in my life and that I can't always do it, and that is different for me. I am so used to catering to others needs and mine being what doesn't happen. All these changes and so many of them feel so different to me. I think it is going to take a bit for them to feel more normal and to become just a part of my life.
And, okay, I will clarify, that maybe I would say something, but that what I might say is not really what is needed (and likely not wanted) at that time. I do my best to share my experience, be sympathetic, relate, and be helpful.
I just find these days that it is much harder to not say something like...no, don't do that, such a waste of energy, or no, no, no, protect your child and stop the denial and wake up, or...I don't know, many personal thoughts. Of course, I know and understand that I've been there, was that person, and also, that my experience is mine and not someone elses, and that I can't judge. I was told a million times to get away before I got away. My mom felt (although never voiced) that something was happening, but without any proof kept silent (her father sexually abused her older sister their entire youths) and I know that all one can do is support.
I don't know, just something I noted lately, that I see many posts, think about responding and just can't, really. I don't think it is as much about not wanting to hurt the person, but more my own thoughts that someone else might better respond or that I just don't have that much energy. And I guess, as far as my own energy level, this is a healthy thing for me. I feel much the same as others respond to my journal entries and I never seem to find the time by the time I do everything else to respond to theirs!
Maybe there is a bit of me that does wish I could help more and is just now realizing that I have a million and one things happening in my life and that I can't always do it, and that is different for me. I am so used to catering to others needs and mine being what doesn't happen. All these changes and so many of them feel so different to me. I think it is going to take a bit for them to feel more normal and to become just a part of my life.
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