unhappy. i hate my life right now.

I am so unhappy right now. I think it's my job. I'm really hating it. I hate every minute of it. I try to find the good things associated with it, but there really are none right now. I wake up in a bad mood and I go to sleep in a bad mood. I want to cry right now. That's how much I hate it. It's not fun- the person taking over for me is so bossy- I don't know what my place is. I'm so unhappy. I feel like people are walking all over me. I feel worthless and like there is no point of me being here. It sucks. I just want to go crawl in a corner and die right now. I think I may have just realized how much this job is affecting me and my life, hopeuflly when I leave things with my ED will start to get better. I have a very big feeling that this job is really not helping my emotional stability and my eating behaviors. Only 20 days left. UGH. The longest fucking 20 days of my life. Oh and I just got a response from my dietitian saying that I did a good job with what I ate yesterday (too bad I lied)- but for some weird reason it made me feel good even though what she complemented me on wasn't real. I'm so fucked up. Grrr.
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update:
I feel so alone and not wanted right now. Diane (the person taking my job) jsut started working at my desk today, it's been less than a day and she has already rearranged everything on my desk. I feel like I don't belong here- like I'm not wanted. I don't know why but I'm so upset and sad. I'm crying right now....AT FUCKING WORK! I don't like this whole transistion thing- I feel pushed to the side. I fucking hate it. I feel so unwanted and alone. It's like i"m not here- like I'm invisible. I don't want to be here at all.

Replies

wanttobeok
wanttobeok

I am so sorry you feel like this and that things are so bad at work, no one should be made to feel this way. Keep counting down those days you will get there. xxxxx
deleted_user
deleted_user

TuxE: why the hell are you letting a job that you are leaving in 20 days have THIS MUCH power over you? Fuck it. FUck everyone. You leave in 20 days. Go w/ the flow!
deleted_user
deleted_user

I don\'t know how things worse in America, but if your job is making you this unhappy and down, can your doctor write a letter to \'sign\' you off? That\'s what we call it in England. Basically it\'s like a sick note - do you know what I\'m talking to?
I\'m so sorry you\'re being treated so badly. I so wish you weren\'t having to go through this. I just want to give you a big big hug and reassure you that things will be ok.
It will all be over soon huni, x x x x x
tuxedomck
tuxedomck

THanks guys. I know- I keep telling myself that I\'m just here to collect a fucking pay check. I think it\'s just the fact that feeling of being pushed to the side brings back so many wretched memories of my family. ugh. I called my old therapist and am going to see him on Tuesday because I\'m so distraught over this fucked up situation in my head and my new one is on vacation.

Thanks Frankie- I would love a huge hug from you!!! Unfortunately I can\'t leave earlier than July 30 befcause i really need the money.
missyS
missyS

do u have another job lined up? and if u hate ur current job then if i were u i would be all gung ho to let diane take over...hahaha let her sit in living hell for a bit eh? =P she prolly wont do as good of a job as u did but u will no longer have to suffer...

and as for lying to the dietician and her complementing u on what u \"ate\" that just goes to show that we all KNOW what a decent acceptable diet looks like...we just choose not to follow it....