Uneasy and sad feeling won\'t go away

Hi friends! Thanks for all your well wishes for school--its proving to be a lot of work. It feels good to be working towards a goal--FINALLY! (I have been on the waiting list at my school for 2 full years!!) The program is 22 months so there is a definite goal I can see. But, my depression is starting to consume me. I feel it coming on and I don't know what to do to fight it.  My DH tries to be understanding but is taking everything so personally! He tells me there is nothing to be unhappy about. And he is right for the most part! There, of course, are the usual financial difficulties, and he is working a helluva lot, but I don't even know what it is myself. I was thinking by journaling maybe it would come spilling out...nope. I got nothin'. Lately, I've been feeling very isolated and overwhelmed. I think my stepkids are creating lots of tension at my home. Like all things, this will change. I find myself feeling jealous of my friends with no kids. I am taking care of them a LOT, which is fine, but creditless. Their mother says "she is not their mother" so what am I--free babysitter? For example, on a Saturday (I'm off) my DH insists on seeing them but brings them over at 9am and then sleeps until 5:45pm and he gets up and goes to work--now what is the point in this? He has seen them today a total of 30 minutes, but my entire day and night involves thinking of things to do for them, making meals, and, of course, this takes away from my study time.  And while I'm writing this, my SS just told DH he had "no fun" at the park today and that I made them play. How dare I? Why do I do anything at all? Maybe I should let them space out in front of the TV all day......