understanding
One thing I've learned going through this depression is that it's so hard for people who aren't going through it or who never experienced it to understand how hard it is.
I got a letter from my mother. I know she means well (at least I really think she does) but she mentioned how proud she is of my brother for trying so hard and he is "worse" off than I am in her book because he is bipolar and I am merely depressed. I believe she thinks that my depression isn't as painful or real somehow. It's not a contest, and I do know that there are times when my brother has been worse off but I really don't think right now that is the case. He is out and working and enjoying life where he can, so I'm not sure where she gets the idea that I like being in bed and feeling guilty the whole time.
It makes me feel worse for not having been back to work or not actively looking for new work that I don't think I could handle right now. I know she comes from a different culture and a different time. She has a different experience of life and I admit, she has had a really tough life and somehow made it through. I'm not sure how people make it through relocating to another country and war...but she did. And I'm proud that she did. But it shouldn't minimize what I'm going through. It's opinions like hers that make me feel worse about myself instead of better and makes it harder to get better. I barely have the energy to get myself out of bed much less fight the ignorance of those who just don't understand.
Maybe I should send her a link to articles that might help.
I wanted to stay in bed for longer, but my fiance brought me coffee and a scone since he had to go to work for a while. I was already feeling so sad, I didn't want him to worry more while going off to work. So I'm out of bed for as long as I can take it.
We are supposed to go for a walk when he gets home. I will try to look forward to it. I will try to be positive about it. It's just so hard. At least it's a bit sunny today. It's been so gloomy the past few days, I'm sure that's been affecting my mood as well.
I got a letter from my mother. I know she means well (at least I really think she does) but she mentioned how proud she is of my brother for trying so hard and he is "worse" off than I am in her book because he is bipolar and I am merely depressed. I believe she thinks that my depression isn't as painful or real somehow. It's not a contest, and I do know that there are times when my brother has been worse off but I really don't think right now that is the case. He is out and working and enjoying life where he can, so I'm not sure where she gets the idea that I like being in bed and feeling guilty the whole time.
It makes me feel worse for not having been back to work or not actively looking for new work that I don't think I could handle right now. I know she comes from a different culture and a different time. She has a different experience of life and I admit, she has had a really tough life and somehow made it through. I'm not sure how people make it through relocating to another country and war...but she did. And I'm proud that she did. But it shouldn't minimize what I'm going through. It's opinions like hers that make me feel worse about myself instead of better and makes it harder to get better. I barely have the energy to get myself out of bed much less fight the ignorance of those who just don't understand.
Maybe I should send her a link to articles that might help.
I wanted to stay in bed for longer, but my fiance brought me coffee and a scone since he had to go to work for a while. I was already feeling so sad, I didn't want him to worry more while going off to work. So I'm out of bed for as long as I can take it.
We are supposed to go for a walk when he gets home. I will try to look forward to it. I will try to be positive about it. It's just so hard. At least it's a bit sunny today. It's been so gloomy the past few days, I'm sure that's been affecting my mood as well.
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