uncomfortable things.

days where it's all i can do to be then i get a day like today.  puttering along like a happy mad hatter!  feels so good to be able to do and manage things.  not all, but enough that i feel like such a person! 

prepped some chicken wings to bake later......cut up some fresh melon to snack on.  happy girl here!  with this new cut all i have to do is dry my bangs and let the rest air dry.  i fluff the layers and it looks like an actual style.......help the curls by adding gel or mousse, easy to scrunch it in.......

so um, yeah.......i had hired a guy named Kevin to come and tidy up the yard.  he picked up sticks, pulled weeds and did all sorts of work for six hours.  made the property look so much better.  he did all the work at a very discounted price of only $50.  so kind, but here's the other side of what happened.  he pulled out/removed a rose bush, which cost me $20 and he yanked out flowering plants from around the mailbox and threw them away. that was $40 worth of plants.  so um yeah........i had asked him to take the flowering plants out of the ground so that i could plant them in another bed.  he obviously forgot and well shoot.  i asked him to cut the rose bush back but he yanked it out of the ground and tossed it. 

WHY?  we don't know.  then.....oh dear.  well i got to talking, i am a chatty bird at times.....and talked about the old days when i used to be a cocktail waitress in Dallas .....told him about the entertainment.......reminiscing.....about Michael McDonald & the Doobie Brothers, about Kool & the Gang, Earth, Wind and Fire, the Commodores, and we even had Wolfman Jack come in to spin records.  Wolfman Jack was also in the movie American Graffiti......and Wolfman was a wolf......he got a little grabby with me.  Sigh, ugh. 

So.......Kevin wanted to know what we wore.......so I told him we wore leotards with skirts.....the skirt was worn in such a way that it exposed a lot of leg on one side.  why i told him that?  a bit of vanity for when i could wear clothes like that i suppose.......told him i used to be a blue eyed blonde before i was a white hair confused sort of so n so.......and laughed about it.  so now it's the day when he came back to finish up, do his final two hours of work.  we're sitting outside enjoying the breeze and talking and then he starts talking about women.....how they are built, he is focusing on how women are built up on top......not totally graphic but not appropriate at all.  then he moves on to tell me that he notices that all three times he's been here that i always wear higher necklines and i always have on layers that disguise my shape.  he mentions is a very soft way that while i may be carrying some extra weight he finds me very attractive.........i gained 60 pounds taking prednisone and have really struggled to lose it.  .....he finds me attractive but why do i cover up my figure so much? 

so now i feel uncomfortable around him and think uhhhhh, he's a jerk.  does he know he's a jerk or what just happened here?  i won't hire him again.......anyway as this is happening Stella pulls up and i think THANK GOD! 

she gets out of her car and hugs me......she plays with my new hair do and says she LOVES it!  ahhhh, so sweet.....she's so funny, she says who knew you had so much natural curl????  i introduced them but now think that before he talked to me this day i had kind of hoped those two would hit it off.......but now i think uh uh, no way jose.  he was being crude........and i don't like crude.  a man i  barely know has gone from general talk to some pretty specific talk about women's breasts and my own chest.  wanted to wash that conversation out of my brain.......still trying to rid myself of what he said.  as a woman who's been abused in the past i don't handle that kind of talk well, not that anyone should......i don't know why he said what he said ....later that day he sent me a thank you note, said it made his heart feel good to help me and that is why he discounted the price, also said he really enjoyed out conversations........i did too until that last bit.  then he blew it big time.......from good guy helper man to dork on a stick go away forever ugh.  whew got that off my chest........is that ok to say such a terrible pun in light of it all?  helps me a little. 

i don't like being treated like that.......i don't like being talked to like that.  i did ask stella how old she thought he was and she thinks he's my age or a little older.  huh, i thought he was younger than me by a good ten years, shows you what i know.  maybe i don't know what my age looks like.......?  silly and probably true.  so sore from all this typing, hurts my shoulders and upper arm muscles. 

gonna figure out some lunch and then hang up my laundry i guess........the cats won't do it!

hugs, ruthie