UGH STRESSED OUT!!!!
Ugh, I am so stressed, I hate my life, I hate being scared, I hate being alone, I hate that I have to write to no one as I have no one in my life to talk to and I mean no one. Ready to shut down, this is the 1st time I've every felt like this, scares me, really scares me. I can't do it anymore, I can't handle another fight with or about anythingI am being treated for depression and PTSD which was brought on by my facial surgery, which has left me slightly disfigured, People say its not that bad just be glad your alive. Yeah sure try to rememeber that every time you look in a mirror and see how ugly you are. I am at the point where I feel that keeping my son with me is not the best thing for him, I think I need to be out of his life so I don't fuck it up. Scared of screwing that up too like the rest of my life. Talked to my X aboout finalzing the divorce which is not a big deal, BUt X is really angry and was very ugly to me because I want spousal support, when my X gets angry he very verbally abusive and ugly, so the threats started right away. I can't handle it right now. I feel like I have no future and I had no past, ANd whats worse I don't really care anymore..
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I am very rarely on here, but you sound as if you need a friend. We all know how hard it is to go through a divorce. You have some other things going on that make is worse. I can\'t say I understand, as I am not walking your walk. I will tell you that each of us has a unique part to our struggle. I too feel as if I don\'t want to go on sometimes. But I look at the faces of my loved ones, and know that they love me, they need me. My children would NOT be better off without me. Leave them to their father\'s tender mercies? NEVER! Your son doesn\'t care what you look like, he cares that you love him. He needs you. Refuse to fight with the stbx, let your lawyer do it. Refuse all contact that isn\'t supervised, get Friend of the Court involved, tell someone in Child Protective Services how verbally abusive he is to you so your son won\'t have to go through that. Get in counseling with your local Women\'s Resource Center. Take some baby steps in a positive direction, you won\'t regret it. I believe God has a plan for all of us. I may not have any insight as to where we are going, but I choose to trust Him, especially when I don\'t want to! I work weird hours, but message me and I promise to answer every day. Just remember, someone out there does care.
dammit.,,what city are you in ?...I am in Calif too !!..I KNOW how you feel as I have survived 6 cancer surgeries...on my face...arm ...leg...I am here...talk to ME...and others...you are NOT alone...
tears are welling up in my eyes...because I DO know how you feel....OMG !
I\'m so sorry that you are feeling like this, I want to help, what can I do? Please let me know.
You will never be alone as long as you reach out here! That is a promise I know is TRUE!!! As hard as it is, be strong and know that after the rain, a rainbow! Your son needs you and your love is the most important thing you give him! My oldest is about to be 22 and she still needs me after all of the hell we have gone through together. Never think for a moment that a child would be better off without the one who gave birth to him because the love of a mother is like no other and can\'t be replaced! Too many mothers don\'t realize this until it is too late... look at your son and know he comes first for you, otherwise he too will one day feel alone. God Bless You and hold you so gently in His arms. You will make it as long as you have faith, fight and friends... you do have that! Peace&Love