UGH STRESSED OUT!!!!

Ugh, I am so stressed, I hate my life, I hate being scared, I hate being alone, I hate that I have to write to no one as I have no one  in my life to talk to and I mean no one. Ready to shut down, this is the 1st time I've every felt like this, scares me, really scares me. I can't do it anymore, I can't handle another fight with or about anythingI am being treated for depression and PTSD which was brought on by my facial surgery, which has left me slightly disfigured, People say its not that bad just be glad your alive. Yeah sure try to rememeber that every time you look in a mirror and see how ugly you are. I am at the point where I feel that keeping my son with me is not the best thing for him, I think I need to be out of his life so I don't fuck it up. Scared of screwing that up too like the rest of my life. Talked to my X aboout finalzing the divorce which is not a big deal, BUt X is really angry and was very ugly to me because I want spousal support, when my X gets angry he very verbally abusive and ugly, so the threats started right away. I can't handle it right now. I feel like I have no future and I had no past, ANd whats worse I don't really care anymore..