Two weeks
It's been two weeks since I found out that my twins had died in utero. I feel so sad and empty inside. I hate that my babies are gone and can't understand why this would happen to me especially after already suffering two early miscarriages this past year. Jeff and I want a baby so badly and would be wonderful parents, it just doesn't make any sense to me at all. I am devastated, and angry at the same time. My stomach is now flat and it's a reminder every time I look in the mirror that I don't have my boys growing in my belly anymore. In just 16 weeks I had already fallen in love with them and was daydreaming about caring for my babies and all of the joys to come and now that has all been taken from me. Heartbroken doesn't even cover the pain I am feeling inside :(
I have been trying to cover my feelings and act "ok" and not allowing myself to grieve and it's all hitting me now. I know I need to start letting it out everyday so I can begin to heal. I will never forget my baby angels but I know one day I will heal and be able to live accepting that they aren't here. That day isn't going to come anytime soon.
I have been trying to cover my feelings and act "ok" and not allowing myself to grieve and it's all hitting me now. I know I need to start letting it out everyday so I can begin to heal. I will never forget my baby angels but I know one day I will heal and be able to live accepting that they aren't here. That day isn't going to come anytime soon.
Replies
It\'s been 5 months for me, and I\'m still not ready to accept it. I really hope you\'re right..that some day we will be able to accept it. I\'m very sorry you\'re going through this. You just keep on doing whatever feels right for you, whether that\'s hiding your feelings or allowing yourself to feel them. There is no guide book and we\'re all so different, we need to cope whichever way we can.
I\'m so sorry for the loss of your twins. It\'s been almost 3 months that i have lost my Evelyn at 24 weeks. Not one day goes by that i don\'t think about her and miss her. I still can\'t stop crying and it still kills me when i see a pregnant woman or a newborn baby. We are all here for you. We all know your pain.
Thank you ladies for reaching out, sharing your stories and pain and for your support. We named our two boys Bryce and Connor. I will think of them everyday. I recently received \"healing seeds\" from a friend and plan to find a place in our yard to plant them this May which is when my twins would have been full term. I feel like having those flowers bloom in their memory will be a good way to always remember them and how special they were to me and my husband, no matter how little the time was with them.
I\'m so sorry for your pain. I love the healing seeds idea. I lost my first child at 24 weeks, it will be 13 years this August, my mother planted a plant for Jane after she was born, it\'s huge now and blooms every year. You are right, you\'ll never forget your little babies and you will eventually accept that they\'re not here with you, but it takes time, and a lot of tears, there\'s anger and frustration along the way too. I accepted that I wasn\'t going to get to watch my little girl grow a long time ago but that doesn\'t mean I like it. Time really does help but when you\'re grieving so deeply time passes so slowly. Look after yourself, best wishes.
You are so right about the time passing slowly during a time of grieving. Everyday is so long and it\'s completely exhausting. I am working on acceptance, I know that is the most important step in healing. It\'s going to take time, how much time I have no idea.
That\'s awesome that your plant blooms every year and is thriving! Thank you for your support. Take care