(TW I think) Not okay

I like the simple way that saying can mean your whole world is crashing in. "I'm not okay" 

There is still a pounding in my head that rings with every heart beat. Not sure if it is the fact that I haven't eaten all day or maybe it's my head remembering his fists. "I'm not okay" 

I missed school today, not because I am sick but because I can't will myself out of bed. Which is fine with him. A delightful day in bed together. "I'm not okay" 

His friend needs some help with a new computer that he doesn't have. He sends me to help him anyway. We need the money. "I'm not okay" 

I could play like everything was fine last week. My walls had no chips not even a crack, last week. I should have kept my mouth shut. "I'm not okay" 

I fought back for the first time today. I learned a new lesson today. He will always win. "I'm not okay" 

I smiled my best smile at the man in the store today. Holding tight to my hand, cutting off circulation he whispers don't be a slut like your mom. My smile falls to the ground with my eyes. "Do you want a cookie?" The man asks "No thank you, I'm okay."