Tuesday July 31, 2012 "28 months in"
Pretty low tonight, think I was at home too much today, altho I was watching the Olympics so that was interesting. So damn lonely. I'm eating crap, hardly ever cook for myself........what for? I had a dream again last night and my beloved Pat was in it. He used to work thru the night when he got on a roll on the computer and last night I called out to him to come to bed..........that sure woke me up when I realized that wasn't going to happen. One of my dear friends is divorced, but she is a new Gramma and has 3 adult children that she sees often. I wish I could say that. My one daughter is teaching high school summer school, and my other daughte, also a teacher is at university working towards her Masters Degree. I am so very proud of our kids and I know their Dad is too. My Dad passed away in January, and I find myself wanting to call him to make sue he is drinking enough water in this heat. Oh the lonliness..................Hugs to all, Wendy
Replies
Every loss brings up ALL loss i know my friend. It takes you right back to the beginning when you lose the most important part of who you are, and although you spend so much time learning who that is....a loss can pull you right back down again.I understand very well.
how wonderful both daughters are doing so well. Hopes for you that you get those grandchildren that smile at you and make life full again. I do know what that is like, and it does help.
sorry you are not eating well though. I remember the days when my entire diet was choc ship cookies, potatoe chips, and coffee!!! I do a bit better now, and it\'s just about 18 months. but understand...you just don\'t feel the need to cook because no one to enjoy it. Try to eat a bit better though will you? You sweet man woulod want that for you, so you can see those grands, and tell them about the wonderful man and grandpa they had who helped shape their mom\'s to be who they are now!
Love and understanding hugs diane
I was meditating this morning and realized why I haven\'t broken up with Dave is that I would be home alone in the evenings, which the absence of Smokey would hit me like tonne of bricks. Its why I have been taking my time. What a shocker or maybe it isn\'t a shocker. The loneliness factor plays a big part in us making mistakes in new relationships. I had an interview on Monday and have one this morning at 10 in Vancouver for a Richmond temp position. We shall see. It would have been a shocker for you to wake up and realize it was a dream. It would hurt. I don\'t know if there is any one else out there for me as Smokey was one in a million as your Pat was one in a million for you. I miss Smokey to this day. His oldest daughter finally contacted me through facebook. I guess that is also making me emotional as now I have to continue on dealing with the estate. I find it difficult at best. From Diane B.
Gentle ((hugs)) shared precious Wendy.
Take very good care.
:-) Patricia