Tuesday,another day where we continue to tread water

Good morning journal,the time is 8:12am and I have been awake for just over an hour.I spent most of yesterday asleep,I had absolutely no energy or motivation to do much of anything and went to lay down at 4:00pm.When I opened my eyes again it was 9:00pm,and I still felt exhausted. I got up and watched some television until 1:00am and then went back to bed,sleeping deeply until just after 7:00am this morning. Sitting here at my desk now,I still feel drained and tired although I am rested physically,I have no idea why I'm finding it so difficult to function,I know I get tired more often than a healthy man my age,but this is becoming ridiculous,I'm missing huge parts of my life and sleeping large amounts of my days away,whatever is wrong,it isn't good. I am aware that some of the medications I am currently taking can cause drowsiness and a lot of the time I feel as if I am wading through mud and getting nowhere fast,I am getting tired of my lack of ability to move and function like a normal human being.Another reason for my lack of mobility is the still vacant space in our lounge where my wheelchair should sit!,five weeks tomorrow since it's been on order and still no hint if or when it will finally get here. I'm beginning to think that my request forms with all my measurements for the chair have been lost in the mail,even if I had built it myself from spare parts it would have been finished by now.No contact either from pulmonary rehab or the mental health team,hello?,does anybody know I exist?,I really am thinking seriously of pulling the plug on all of them and going it alone,after all,isn't that what I'm doing now anyway?. If it wasn't for my wife,nobody would know if I died tomorrow,she is my only human contact in the whole world at present,apart from my doctor once a month,and,of course,my friends on this site,apart from that,I don't hear from or see anybody,I feel like Robinson Crusoe before he met Man Friday on Treasure Island.My kids are grown and have their own lives,they have kids of their own and I fully understand that they are busy,it's funny,I used to imagine what my life would be like when I got to the age I am now,playing with my grand children,taking life at a slower pace after working so hard all of my adult life. Instead,I spend my days half asleep,full of pills that make my body feel as if I'm dragging lead weights around with me most of the time,and a mind that is home to three other people apart from me!,apart from that,everything is peachy thanks very much. Well,at least the sun is up outside and it looks like being a very pleasant morning,which will be a nice change from last week when it rained for most of it and I felt very cold a lot of the time,whether this nice spell will last is anybody's guess,it doesn't really matter to me because I can't get out for any length of time,or travel any real distance until someone turns up with my wheelchair. Perhaps there will be some good news in the mail today,will I hear from pulmonary rehab?,will I receive a call from mental health?,or,better still,will I get a letter from the disability people with a yes to my application for additional help?,it's a bit like waiting for Christmas morning when you were a kid,you know what you asked Santa for,but it's the excitement of thinking will you actually get what you asked for that keeps you awake most of Christmas Eve,I've been living in Christmas Eve for months now and I'm tired of it all,it's time for Christmas Day to finally get here,will that be today?,probably not,but I need to hear something from somebody soon.Anyway journal,that's it for now,I've had my grumble,time to get on with today,once again,we will lean on Jesus,let us pray that He hears us and decides it's time that we had an improvement in our lives,Thy will be done Lord,.....Amen.