Tues, July 20

Feeling pretty out of it. I have four hours until I have to go to work, and when I get back it's basically sleep time. Since I'm feeling dissociated out (have been for some days now) I'm debating how to spend this time. 

Should I go to the shop and get a snack? Should I cook something to eat tomorrow? Should I play some games with my friends? Should I just take a nap? 

I'm feeling so drowsy. I had to get up a bit early today for driving practice. I got home soon after 10. It's an hour and a half later now, so I must have crashed for an hour and a half. Just so tired. I have things to do, my final exam is on Friday, I have art overdue, but it's so hard to muster up the energy or the will. I think I'm overthinking it. It's causing me a lot of anxiety. I feel like I must do this, must do that. Very few things are absolute musts in this world.

They aren't musts, but they are shoulds. When I dissociate I lose the ability to tell the difference and process them separately. So.. maybe the best course of action is to try meditating for an hour before I do anything else. 

My mom made some soy sauce beef soup over the weekend. It's really good. I'm making noodle soup with it