Tsunami of tears
I was having a pretty good night. I was on Facebook looking at pictures of Iysabella that Christina had just posted and I went too far in her album & the next pic was one of Christina and Ed. Here was his beautiful face staring back at me and I didn't expect it and I burst into tears! He was hugging his daughter and looked so handsome and was smiling sheepishly in that way Daddy's do when they hug their teenaged daughters...you know....like he was thinking "she's my little girl, but she's a young woman now." He looked so happy and HEALTHY! I will never be able to wrap my head around someone being perfectly healthy one minute and dead the next!! It is not humanly possible for me to reconcile this in my mind!!
So the river, no tsunami, of tears and pain is with me now. Its 2am & I can't sleep so I am here to let it out.
Bless you all for listening and understanding.
xoxo Linda
So the river, no tsunami, of tears and pain is with me now. Its 2am & I can't sleep so I am here to let it out.
Bless you all for listening and understanding.
xoxo Linda
Replies
Oh how many times I\'ve thought that same thing....her one second and gone the next. It\'s all too surreal somedays and most of the time, I just tuck it away. I\'m sorry for your sadness and lack of sleep. Pictures, songs and almost any favorite thing of our childs can sure trigger those tears. Hoping tomorrow is better. So glad you could feel safe here and let your feelings flow. You are loved. Robin
I am so sorry Linda. I don\'t know why we have to go through these spurts of tears. They hurt and are devastating.
With love,
Leda
We never know when the tears will come....and when we are caught by surprise seem they are more a flood...thinking of you, Sandi
Dear Linda, we all get those hit in the gut times.. out of the blue something hits and down we go... we know what you are going through dear friend.
Hugs ... Marylou
Squeeze hugs across the miles....here I am up at whatever hour it is...two-ish...sleep is a novelty for me..I do know the pain that strikes out of nowhere like the photo of handsome Ed....smiles frozen in time.....NO it is not fair that Ed was seemingly healthy and then gone from you in an instant...but you and I know there\'s more than the world...there is HEAVEN...and that is where we are focused on more than ever now. Ed and Brandon are probably very busy...the good kind of busy....Hold to those thoughts dear friend....love, dale..brandon\'s mom
Dearest Linda, I am so sorry that you were caught unexpectedly and it caused you so much pain. I wonder sometimes...when does the acuteness of this gut-wrench lessen...or does it, ever? All, I know to do - is be with it for however long it takes. it\'s very draining - but sometimes it can be a catharsis to let you begin, again. Love your sweet hurting heart....Suzzanne
I\'m sorry this is so tardy, Linda...I know what you mean about \"healthy one minute and dead the next\"....too well...
It doesn\'t make it any easier to deal with grief when it\'s hits us like a ton of bricks in one big fell horrendous swoop...totally out of the blue and completely and totally unexpected. All members of my first family were healthier than my second family by far-- comparatively...starting from birth actually...aye yie tie...
Hopefullly by now the storm has passed. Surprise definitely is a tactic of the enemy I have most CERTAINLY and painfully, found.
God is stronger than all, thankfully. \"With God we will gain the victory and He will trample down all our enemies.\" ALL our enemies. Keep hanging in there...Loving you always, Donna
Linda, I\'m sorry you are hurting. Sometimes seeing a picture like that so unexpectedly can bring on those tears. But those tears come from love...and your love for Ed is so deep. Thinking of you, Love, Kim
Linda we all know that hurt and we empathize with you. It hurts so bad, so very bad. Sending you love and pray your pain eases. I have a lot of trouble looking at pictures of Jason too. Our lives are forever changed. Terry
I think pictures are so hard...if I look at them on my computer and it takes up the full screen...I can really see him. I have often reached out to touch him...and gently remember how his hair felt or his skin. Then I look into his eyes and I can see him so clearly...and then the tears come. Hugging you Linda...so very tightly...
I agree the pictures are so hard... I have had those moments of sudden fall on your knees tears and the trigger is an unexpected picture or a comment someone has made about my son. I think we see the love and life in their eyes and can not imagine it being gone. How I miss my boy!! How we all miss our children Hugs Wendy