Trying to numb out
Took some extra meds today, I made myself a cocktail of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds to try to numb out. Anyone out there ? :( sigh.
Took some extra meds today, I made myself a cocktail of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds to try to numb out. Anyone out there ? :( sigh.
Replies
Hello Anna Belle. I am here in Albuquerque NM. I am sending you a smile and a hug... :)
Numbing out is like putting a small bandage on a large wound. Seems like it would help..but it just makes matters worse.
I'm speaking from experience. I was a practicing alcoholic and drug addict for my entire adult life, I'll b 50..soon. (until July 27th 2009...)
I used alcohol and drugs so I would numb out..not feel anything. It only made things worse..never better. I know emotional pain really sucks. I'm sorry u are hurting. But plz..allow yourself to grieve...and get thru the pain.Things are much better on the other side. (((Hugs)))
Dearest Anna Belle , my friend , was there anything specifically to cause you to crash so hard ? Would you like to get it off your chest ? Sometimes , it takes letting out the details and even sobbing to help the pain lessen . You can respond here or message me if you are comfortable . I am always there for you and I do understand and would never judge . I, also admit freely that when my coping skills are gone , I must also dissapear so I also numb out .Sometimes , I have a different outlook when I awake . I have very pitiful issues with the man I live with . We are so different and he is always right and stubborn as a mule . He'll leave a simple disagreement , thinking that it will ignite the situation less if he disappears but it just massacres me . I am very thin skinned and get hurt extremely easily . I basically have never learned coping skills . If I pursue our problem further he flies off the handle , screaming and stops speaking to me sometimes for the rest of the day or night . I have no way out . I don't drive due to severe PTSD so I am stuck in his house where I am very uncomfortable in the 1st place . It is actually falling down around us and we are very isolated , far out in the country . I can tell I am suffering from agoraphobia again , as I did once prior during a crisis I couldn't handle . I am trapped with him , only earn ssdi and cannot live alone ..Have no friends or family to help me out of this nightmare . He even has the gall to say he loves me . On top of that ridiculous living arrangement I suffer from severe chronic pain of my entire back and more ailments that cause more agony that I can ever count . Been disabled basically my entire life but this past year since fracturing my spine , falling on a concrete floor , the aftermath since the surgery has left me with 2 more debilitating disorders . I am almost unable to walk anymore . I am terrified but relieved that I will be getting a 2nd surgical opinion for the issues left behind in a few weeks . I am just so anxious that the Dr . won't find me to be a suitable candidate due to all of my previous conditions . So you see sweetie , I end up in a loop and zone out when I am severely hurting emotionally or physically . I understand how it becomes almost a need just to escape the world . I have tried to cope naturally for most of my life but I am at the end of my rope , so depressed . Please know I am in your corner and will be kind and soothing if you choose to write ..Many blessings for serenity ...
You shouldn't. Do that it could seriously hurt you . if you need to talk. Contact me. On Facebook Gerry towler
oh wow thank you for the responses. It has been some time since I've logged on... mysensitiveheart, your daily fight is an inspiration to me.... really. thank you. its lives like yours that tell me 'if he/she can do it, then i know i can too'. thank you my dear.
Caveman, I wish I could contact you on fb but im off of fb. I do need the support lately.
MTgirl.. I am worried that I become an addict to prescription drugs...but im holding on hope.
and thank you dc87110 *hug*