Trying to 'let go and let God'
My illness makes my sense of identity change a lot and I know people can wonder what I am all about because it. There's an inconstancy.
The past couple of days I have changed a lot - today at the market I was different, but today as I was at the office working, I know I was different with John. But I tried to just 'let go and let god' - and focus on the work and focus on being supportive.
My psychiatrist told me once, we all have to deal with changes within ourselves. And so I am so grateful for the generosity from John and others.
I am home now and the 'engine within' is fiercely having me focused on how I want to do things that are valued and valuable with others. I think we all want this in whatever form it might take.
Things are speeding up a bit, but I will try and keep focused and productive and just deal with whatever I can do today. Maybe I will go for a coffee now.
I used to want someone to witness my life and know what I have walked through in life...Now, today, I am not feeling that sense of existential feeling. Just 'a wee' spazzy.
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Lately I am teetering between spiritual stuff and God. I was brought up as a Lutheran. I would read the bible but at times I don't want to think about "that stuff". Heck, I still remember the bible passage they gave me to recite in front of everyone at my conformation. It was a passage from Psalms........ "The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want",,,, Ill have to Google how the rest of that goes.
For some reason the Bible story that most sticks out in my mind is about Sampson and Deliah. Personally, I think the Bible is a good guiding reference....not sure if it should be taken literally to a "T". They say it has been written and re written in different languages over again. I am sure the translators embellished some stuff along the way.....right? Put their own personal spin on a translation? Not sure.
I do believe the Bible is a good reference guide however.
Thanks Chris!
If I goto a church it will be a Lutheran church. I went out with a lady from Arizona once...and she was into the Pentecostal church. I went once with her, and made me nervous. People were making all sorts of random noises, sprawling themselves on the floor.. They had a three piece electric guitar band. It was a bit different..
I don't even like the church that is local it's all drywall....like a college auditorium. I know its not the type of building but the content of the sermons. I did like my old church in the old neighborhood. It was old school. Tall, stone columns. Real stained glass. I thought I read somewhere that churches were built with the alter to the East. There are normally three doors in a church entrance....for the trinity.
Also on stained glass. I heard that they put either red or blue stained glass on the south side of the church because it gets most of the sunlight during the day... Something to do with mostly red and mostly blue. I think blue on the South since its a cooler color.... not sure if thats true.
But I know that normally the church is built with the alter in the East.
I don't know the answer to that but I do like Churches that are built well and beautiful too. They can be plain or ornate.
I have gone to a lot of different churches over my life. I was raised and baptised Greek Orthodox. But I have gone to Presbyterian, Catholic, Anglican/Episcopalian ... here's the Cathedral of St. Sophia here in LA. I know the Priest there. Father John Bakas. He used to be a Policeman and then he became a Priest. He is super cool.
Here's the link - It's an intense Church!!! https://saintsophia.org/
Looks ornate. Cool. I know Greek Orthodox priests wear hats I think. Yes I am over simplifying things a bit. They wear mainly black, I think.
those are the monks and when they are not working. The Priest wears a colorful outfit when they are doing the services.
Ah ok. When I was a kid I went to my friend's church. Catholic. I was intrigued on the confessionals. However my mom has said this to me. "How can a priest forgive your sins?". "He is a mortal, just like you".
The one thing I found different between Lutheran services and Catholic services was the Catholic services kneeling was involved.
I studied at a Catholic University. I really liked the Jesuits. Great teachers.
I heard of the Jesuits. I think they were the first to settle in areas on North America.
I don’t know!! :)
Went to Easter eve services at Westminster Abby in London when I was there a few years ago. It was a beautiful cathedral!. Felt so blessed to be able to go there for services and they even had a baptism which was really different from what I grew up with. The people being baptized put their heads over a bowl and holy water was poured over their heads. It was a great experience to see how others worship.
that sounds SO Beautiful!