Trying to do better.

My last entry was not good.  I am doing a little better today. Still have the weird jaw and mouth weakness and have felt winded the last couple of days.  But I have been trying to redirect my thoughts everytime they start to go to a bad place.  I will try to pray silently or I will even talk out loud to him.  It helps for a while.  My thoughts try to return to the bad place but I keep trying to stop them and trust in God.  I need to trust in his mercy and his compassion.  I find it hard to trust especially when I am feeling bad and the fear starts to get to me.  I was listening to a song by Tara Lee Cobble called Word of Our God. One line in it really struck me it said" Word of our God will stand for ever more, and if fear is my disease this alone will be my peace."  I have listen to her album alot but never really heard that line till to night.  I hope it was a message from God to seek him through my fear.    I pray my days will get better and that God will heal me.