Trying to control my need

We all have need, have I felt ridiculous for having mine? Have I felt the need to live in aesthetics to control and deny to myself and others that I even have them? It's a folly that has separated me from dealing with so many people. I need to be strong. I need to be self responsible but also need to give myself the good human stuff instead of separating and distancing myself with the thought of only accessing those things if I can perfectly deal with my time on my own.