Trying to carry on
Have spent this week with friends from the village carrying out a project which we had discussed before Wilf died. Our house is very closed in with large trees and we discussed taking them down and opening the property to the main road. I have gone ahead and with the help of his friends, have succeeded in removing all the trees. It took 6 guys, 4 chain saws, three days and hundreds of bottles of water but they got there. Then today we had a huge trailer and four of the guys spent the afternoon removing all the debris from the lawn. My problem is that I cant decide if I did right to go ahead with the project (and other projects I have in hand). It doesnt seem right for him not to have been there getting involved and doing as much as he was able. I dont know how to feel about him not seeing how it looks now. His closest friend says he would e proud to see that I have had the courage to go ahead and do it without him. Is it courage? Is it just necessity? Is it just busy work? I dont know - I do know that the house is not so closed in and isolated now which hopefully will be a help to me.
I went to the animal shelter on Thursday because I had been informed that an old dog they had was probably going to be put down. I spent some time with Boswell (a Staffordshire bull terrier) and he is a lovely old guy, so I have agreed to foster him temporarily - if it works out then I will adopt him. I have spend the afternoon making a secure area for him in the garden so that he cannot access the main road. I hope he may give me a purpose back in life - especially since I lost all my chickens - and also be company for me in the evenings. He is lively enough but not so much that it will be too much for me and (like me) he doesn't walk too far because of a hip problem - we should make a good match.
I am feeling very down at the moment but hopefully having Boswell to think about will distract me - I will collect him on Tuesday and I will let you know how it goes.
I went to the animal shelter on Thursday because I had been informed that an old dog they had was probably going to be put down. I spent some time with Boswell (a Staffordshire bull terrier) and he is a lovely old guy, so I have agreed to foster him temporarily - if it works out then I will adopt him. I have spend the afternoon making a secure area for him in the garden so that he cannot access the main road. I hope he may give me a purpose back in life - especially since I lost all my chickens - and also be company for me in the evenings. He is lively enough but not so much that it will be too much for me and (like me) he doesn't walk too far because of a hip problem - we should make a good match.
I am feeling very down at the moment but hopefully having Boswell to think about will distract me - I will collect him on Tuesday and I will let you know how it goes.
Replies
I have had to go ahead with plans that my husband and I had. We owned a store and several months before he died he said lets close the store and sell the building and buy us a little piece of land in the country. He died before we could do any of this. My husband died in Oct. and his family has had a business in our town since the late 1800\'s. Closing the store and selling the building will mean the end of his families legacy. The decision was heart breaking to make...but, I did. The building went up for sale in April. I have a contract on it and should close sometime in August. I have many mixed feelings about it and have cried buckets of tears. We lived on the second floor in a loft apt. so selling the building means the end of my home here. I am looking for a small place in the country. I feel good about the move. Its what we planned and hopefully I am making the right decisions. I try not to second guess myself. My husband had two dogs.....he was the dog person...I\'m learning to be. The dogs in many ways have helped in my journey thru grief....they make me get up each morning(early) to go for a walk. They are good company. I am working on being a good master....its hard. They grieved terribly for him for many weeks. Hopefully you will feel better about your decisions. I hope this helps some. Your friend, Colleen