trying to be proactive
I went to get my car serviced this morning - but was told that they couldn't fit me
in so I made an appointment and will go back next Monday. No big deal.
I came home and called my therapist.
I called her because yesterday I managed my state of mind pretty well. It was the project
of the day, well done. I then, this morning, woke up with some agression. I didn't understand it
and it felt kind of unknown to me and big - so I just decided to call her and leave a message and in doing
so expelled the mystery of my state of mind and came to know that each day may set us up
with a mental project to manage - just some of us - the mental project is much BIGGER and INVASIVE.
After the call, I felt like I could look at my day with a positive aspect and see beyond my nose.
Then a religious commercial came on the TV and for some reason it totally set me off. I tumbled down
and inward and lost my mental footing. So I called my therapist again. Perhaps this is just another mental
project that I have to handle. That's a way to frame it. I think I need to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Instead of going big picture and focusing on all the things I should be doing in my life - maybe cup my hands around
my eyes to focus on the small things in front of me that I could be doing - that are all part of taking care of the day.
Just thoughts... Writing this helps me expel what I am going through - and kind of make sense of it - if not totally remedy it.
Replies
". . .the mental project is much BIGGER and INVASIVE."
That is most definitely true in my own case. In my hyper-active imagination, I can shuffle Asia over into the heart of Africa, and orate profundities on why we want to do that. Mentally, the UN and all its minions gave me standing ovations for my wisdom and long sight on the move.
Then I tried to get proactive on the mental project and the comedy skit which ensued was? ? ? _________Insert imagery of choice here.__________. Starring Whoopie Goldberg?
My life seems to stay simpler when I keep my mentals on what I can do with my strictly personal proactives.
Continued support while you sort your own, my fellow questioner.
Thanks Arfie
rereading this now helps. I went about my day after writing this journal. I felt really unstable when I went to the Dentist office... but again just focusing on the small things in front of me - seeing that or those as my challenges for the day and that seems to have help me focus on the pragmatic and practical rather than let my anxiety stoke the flames of wanting to retreat from everything. I go to my parents' house at 430pm. Can't wait. Will do some more things around here now too.
I really need to get a pet.. Living alone isn't enough.
I'm so glad writing out how you're feeling is helping sweetie.... Big hug.... I don't love going to the dentist either.... I don't think anyone does!!
I hope that you have a great time with your family
Pets are wonderful!!!.... They just want to love you and make you happy.... I am all for pets.... My first love is always dogs but there are so many to choose from
Do you like wildlife Mark?
Is there a park near you to go and feed birds and squirrels... I do that all of the time here as well and I really love to see them
That’s a good idea Jan!! I love wildlife. Maybe I could get a bird feeder for my balcony !
They'll be waiting for you.... "Uncle Marky... I'm hungry"....smile
:) x