truly
I truly wish I could keep that strong grip on these emotions. Most of the time I am fine. I did let myself get worked up last night when my neighbor saw the mysterious person on the red harley beep in front of my house. weird coincidence no doubt that ass has a new red harley but he lives 80 miles away. He has no business in my area anymore. it isnt like I am a normally traveled route. I live in the country for pete's sake!
working today so that will help. I keep telling all family that I feel I am doing good. actually believe it most of the time. and some friends and family see it. I just dont think I have that detachment thing some have. plus divorce in june and month later would of been anniversary for 29 yrs. some "special" occasions still stick in my heart. not that they were any good but still there. I just need new ones. Like the birth of grandson. that will be a super special day.
but for now I have to learn to turn of those feelings whether happy or sad if he is part of them. that's the only way I can do it. I have to forget him in heart and soul. he's an ass and I have to concentrate on that part and forget what small amount of happy moments with him I had. If truth be known the happiest moments were births of both sons (he was there for first but not second) their childhood, (again not exactly a frequent flyer in those either) things we (I mean myself and my sons) did as family. I really have the best memories of my sons. some he was there some not. he didnt make us a priority so we did it ourselves. and we had fun.
okay enough of this poor me shit!! I am again giving him too much time in my head. we all know i take up very little space in his.
going to be another beautiful day here. I go to work at 3 (leave at 2 to get there) for another training day. talked to my supervisor last night. she sounds like someone who will be nice to work for. and my days will be busy. not everyday but a lot of them. still part-time but hey that is a few less days at home. good thing!! next week i only have to travel bout 5 minutes to work. right down my road. how convenient is that??? not a lot a wasted gas. no traveling long distance in snow (which I hate). and available to work on short notice. this may work out pretty good.
working today so that will help. I keep telling all family that I feel I am doing good. actually believe it most of the time. and some friends and family see it. I just dont think I have that detachment thing some have. plus divorce in june and month later would of been anniversary for 29 yrs. some "special" occasions still stick in my heart. not that they were any good but still there. I just need new ones. Like the birth of grandson. that will be a super special day.
but for now I have to learn to turn of those feelings whether happy or sad if he is part of them. that's the only way I can do it. I have to forget him in heart and soul. he's an ass and I have to concentrate on that part and forget what small amount of happy moments with him I had. If truth be known the happiest moments were births of both sons (he was there for first but not second) their childhood, (again not exactly a frequent flyer in those either) things we (I mean myself and my sons) did as family. I really have the best memories of my sons. some he was there some not. he didnt make us a priority so we did it ourselves. and we had fun.
okay enough of this poor me shit!! I am again giving him too much time in my head. we all know i take up very little space in his.
going to be another beautiful day here. I go to work at 3 (leave at 2 to get there) for another training day. talked to my supervisor last night. she sounds like someone who will be nice to work for. and my days will be busy. not everyday but a lot of them. still part-time but hey that is a few less days at home. good thing!! next week i only have to travel bout 5 minutes to work. right down my road. how convenient is that??? not a lot a wasted gas. no traveling long distance in snow (which I hate). and available to work on short notice. this may work out pretty good.
Replies
It\'s going to be a long time before you stop thinking about it. Unfortunately, that\'s just the way it is, but with each down period, comes a good one and I hope your on the upswing.
If he\'s driving by your house he\'s just a dick and who can\'t stop thinking about you either - so your even LOL....
Have fun @ work my friend.
I can say that you life will get better when the divorce is final. I served the ex the day before our daughter\'s birthday and then our anniversary was the next week. It was the only time he would be home for another few months.
Those anniversaries sometimes hit hard on the emotions. Your life will be up and down for a while. I can tell you that gradually the highs will last and the lows will go away.
Working is great for filling up time and taking your mind off the coming divorce. It will get better.