Tripmaster Monkey
I think I’ve been so mired in existential questions when I started to live alone and have been alone in my life that I stopped asking what is my relationship to the situation right in front of me.
I have gotten so lost in the pursuit of perfect harmony.
And now I ask myself victoriously :) what am I going to be in this circumstance?
Maybe it’s about a consideration of aesthetics in the fulcrum that your in.
Like I’m here and so I’ll be the stylish priest. That I can live with.
Or as a friend Mike Church in Canada once said ‘don’t mind that girl she is just being a Starbucks barista’ something like that. It was an observation that is now making sense. People find themselves in structures like this.
I never understood that before but submitting to the environment here sucks out your personal trajectory ‘in the world ambitions’ to the ambitions of the work place you are in and that realization gives me energy. Vanity is fulfilling and I can do it.
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Sorry guys, I’m trying to find myself here. Maybe I just need to keep doing the work, keep on keeping on. Perhaps I have too much time on my hands
I am back from evening services. my mind wanders during service
and evening meal. I realized it's time to get serious about my life.
Professionally - in terms of a part time job. In the process of thinking
about this - I started to think about myself as apart from the monastery.
I also thought about how I want my life to be - what my LEGACY I would liike
my life to have. I want the spirit of GOOD WORKS to make my life about.
I also know my limitations and so maybe my life will be a patchwork of both
making money at a part time job - and also living and helping others here
at the monastery and the community at large. Writing it out doesn't capture
the spirit - but I feel the spirit - I feel directed and ready.
I'm glad that you feel the spirit sweetie
That sounds like a great plan!!
Feeling contented feels good...xo