Trigger- I Want to be Free

I'm at work as usual and I'm having the urge to cut again. Badly. It's suffocating me. I want to scream and cry but instead I have my calm mask on and I am pounding away at the keyboard making frustrating posts on Facebook and hating everyone everywhere. I feel like there's this darkness inside me moving around, trying to consume me from within and I want to let it. I want to embrace its rage and hate and lust and sick, twisted, perverted thoughts. I want to be one with it. Just lie back and let it drain every last drop of me. I don't want to fight. And why should you, it whispers, chants, begs. Mmm, I want to be free of myself.