Triggers

I broke our crockpot, it was a wedding gift so we've had it for 37 years.  I went to Bed, Bath & Beyond and believe it or not they had one like it on display.  They said I would have to order it.  Tonight I went to order it and forgot my coupon so I decided to wait until I get back from Mn.  As I was leaving I walked past the small containers, on instinct I stopped to check and see if they had your favorite containers.  Then it dawned on me that you were no longer here with me.  
I broke down and had to leave the store.  It's kinda stupid because I take lunch and can use containers to.  But it was the fact that you preferred a certain kind and out of habit I was looking for them.  
Then I had the great idea to go into Hobby Lobby.  I was hoping to find a letter holder for the kitchen.  I forgot how much we enjoyed browsing in there when we lived in CO.  So of course that set off a whole nother round of sobbing.  
It is so physically painfull to cry right now with all the problems I am having withmy eyes.  At least when I cry at home I can use cool compresses to calm the painfull area.  But I can't do that when I'm away from home or in the car.  I still cry everyday but it's usually at home.
Hugs, Sandi
 

Replies

Decibel-Places
Decibel-Places

Crying helps me so much - it\'s hard to imagine what it\'s like to have a condition where crying causes more pain.

I often dream of being with Arlene, my wife of 25+ years who died in July. Nothing dramatic, just mundane everyday conversations. At first, I would wake up and look around for her, Like you with the containers :\'(

There is a song by my guitar idol Orianthi Pangaris, \"According to You\" that always makes me bawl. I don\'t know if Arlene even knew the song, I only discovered Ori in the past year. It reminds me of how I was dating so many women who thought I was weird, and then I met Arlene and we clicked. Sometimes it comes up on my mp3 on shuffle while I\'m on a bus - some people look sympathetically at the man with headphones with tears streaming down his face.

Hugs back at you, Randall