Tribute to a day

I was buzzing around the marketplace floor,

doing the work that needed to get done

you come into contact with coworkers

and the customers...

some are kind... the coworkers usually are

and the customers too, in different ways, some 

are happy and easy to assist

and some snap at the open handed 'good morning'

more their stuff than anything

and so I moved on, continuing to buzz around the floor

and getting on to ideas that fill my head...

I think it's moments like these,

that tell me to tend my own garden for my personal needs

but also keep an eye out for the greater good when

those moments arise...it's just the way I am - and how I decide

to resolve it - 

I come home from work and here I am couped and cuddled up in my warm

apartment and I need to reach out to the world outside my immediate sphere...

I tend to nest in the face of society here in the US...I don't know what's out there

and sense not a lot of community beyond the vast engine of business going on...

I think my answer has just been to avoid the subject - but life is changing 

and I must change too - make an outward move - a decision to engage - if but in my own way

rather than a way that pleases all. 

I've come to see that part of my life, the way I'd like to please all rather than realistically tend

to my own garden. I have to accept that I might be attacked and hurt for asserting what I like to do

but I can't recoil and stay reserved in obedient mildness. Rustling feathers may happen

including my own but I should not be discouraged much like I am not discouraged at the market

to do my work thing. I am reminded of George HW Bush - how he remained true to who he was in the

face of criticism... 

I invited someone out for coffee today. Hopefully that will work out. I feel like I have really tried the patience

of you guys here - by writing over and over similar themes of me getting out in the world.

I don't know why I am the way I am - but I am - and I am still 'in here' so I know I gotta believe in that

essential value - and continue to push forward. Survival is frightening.