Treating myself right
It has been a rough week.
Financially, things are looking bleaker for me; but I keep on trying, and working towards my goals.
However, even with bills and next to zero income, I have resolved to do a few little things for myself. One of those is to purchase a "realdoe" - look it up online.
I already have a packer, and a STP. Now, I have ordered myself a "realdoe"; an expensive investment in my own personal satisfaction, and in my hoped-for future. I lucked up - those things can cost $100.00 and up to nearly $200.00 - I found a site selling them for $77.00 plus postage; $85.00 total.
I can't really afford it; but I wrestled with the idea a lot, and decided this is something I just needed to do for myself.
Hopefully I won't regret doing this and wish I had spent the money on toilet paper instead.
This is the first time I have decided in favor of spending on something like this for myself. I read lots of product reviews, and argued with myself for several days before making the decision - longer than I thought about getting surgeries done!
I also have begun looking into more options on bottom surgery, not that I think the VA will pay for it, but it never hurts to be informed. I have discovered some info on different techniques that I didn't find before, and am beginning to think about how long I will wait before asking if the VA will or will not cover the $15,000.00 cost. Yes, it is expensive; but there is a lot more involved in bottom surgery than top surgery.
I still am not convinced things have improved enough for me to decide to move forward on trying to get this done; but there have been improvements over what I had found before.
If I could come up with the money, and not have to go through the VA's red tape, I probably would go ahead and set up a date to do it... with many second thoughts and nervous jitters. I know I would at least talk to a surgeon about the techniques.
But right now, I am looking forward to seeing if the "realdoe" is a worthwhile investment for me.
At least I decided I am worth taking the risk of making such an investment in myself - last year, I would not have done so.
Financially, things are looking bleaker for me; but I keep on trying, and working towards my goals.
However, even with bills and next to zero income, I have resolved to do a few little things for myself. One of those is to purchase a "realdoe" - look it up online.
I already have a packer, and a STP. Now, I have ordered myself a "realdoe"; an expensive investment in my own personal satisfaction, and in my hoped-for future. I lucked up - those things can cost $100.00 and up to nearly $200.00 - I found a site selling them for $77.00 plus postage; $85.00 total.
I can't really afford it; but I wrestled with the idea a lot, and decided this is something I just needed to do for myself.
Hopefully I won't regret doing this and wish I had spent the money on toilet paper instead.
This is the first time I have decided in favor of spending on something like this for myself. I read lots of product reviews, and argued with myself for several days before making the decision - longer than I thought about getting surgeries done!
I also have begun looking into more options on bottom surgery, not that I think the VA will pay for it, but it never hurts to be informed. I have discovered some info on different techniques that I didn't find before, and am beginning to think about how long I will wait before asking if the VA will or will not cover the $15,000.00 cost. Yes, it is expensive; but there is a lot more involved in bottom surgery than top surgery.
I still am not convinced things have improved enough for me to decide to move forward on trying to get this done; but there have been improvements over what I had found before.
If I could come up with the money, and not have to go through the VA's red tape, I probably would go ahead and set up a date to do it... with many second thoughts and nervous jitters. I know I would at least talk to a surgeon about the techniques.
But right now, I am looking forward to seeing if the "realdoe" is a worthwhile investment for me.
At least I decided I am worth taking the risk of making such an investment in myself - last year, I would not have done so.
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