treasure

sure would be nice to go to church this morning.  it's almost 9, if i shower soon and take 40 rest breaks, could i do it?  can't remember service times........the internet is so helpful huh!  the car has annie paw prints on it.......little dusty reminders of her play time in the garage.  awwwww annie, if you wanna be a spy, you can't leave tracks....silly kittums.
my vision is better today.  i can read with my reading glasses on, took a journey into Psalms this morning.......it is such a musical place, fervent, prayerful, beautiful.  i feel so close to God, to this place, to everyone and thing after reading for a while.  being ill, isolated on various levels......we must not only be medical advocates.....but spirit advocates.  protect the spirit.......the spirit needs, deserves protection.  practicing good self care is so important.......God cares for us, loves us and he wants us to love ourselves.......parent our spirit, befriend it.......be kind, compassionate.....be loving and supportive. 
energy is a very precious commodity......time spent stressing over stuff, blaming self for limitations......for loss, for change......is like putting your hand on a hot stove and then continuing to do it again......lingering near the flame of blame/hurt.....why feed emotional pain?  why fan it and hover around it.......walk away.  sort out life issues and then let them goooooooooooooooooooo. 
it seems to me that i had other thoughts........more to say, but a fatigue wave hit.....LOL.......when we were little kids and one of us fell down......we used to call out "whale on the beach"....."whale on the beach"......we got it from some cartoon show.  we were dorky kids & said idiotic things......what can i say.....???!!!  that's how i feel......as though i'm lying on the sand, overtaken by waves.......prefer to think of myself as a pretty little dolphin or maybe a sleek seal........yup, i'm putting on airs..............but i feel like i've been beached on the sand.......WIPEOUT.
I've been carrying II Corinthians 4:7 around for awhile now.....carrying it in my heart. 
"This precious treasure ----- this light and power that now shine within us"
I don't always feel filled with light and power........so often I feel loaded up with frustration & weariness.  I read this verse again....
"This precious treasure, this light and power that now shine within us is held in perishable containers, that is, in our weak bodies.  So everyone can see that our glorious power is from God and is not our own."
A perishable container is like a clay pot......that is me.  How is God's power going to be seen in this little sparrows stammering, fragile everyday life.....?  And yet ......and yet, each of us is precious treasure......how awesome is that?  God loves us sooooooooooooo much.
time to hit the showers......pray for me, i am praying for you also this beautiful Sunday morning........
this little light of mine i'm gonna let it shine...........yup, singing my favorite birdsong.....ooooooo, sparrow