transition

 I was going to email my sister but decided to write here instead.
I went to work today and there is a new lady who has joined the Bakery team.
She was very nice, and I was partially involved with teaching her how things are done in our department. It was kind of fun and fulfilling to help someone learn.
I didn't do it perfectly but I kept my nerves in check and tried to be cheery while
teaching her to do things. It was rewarding and it opened my mind to a new thing.
I guess you could call it a kind of potential.
 
I came home and my mood shifted downward when I think I had no focus for my energies. I also need to remind myself that this is a time of transition from work to home.It was nice to relax but something in me gets upset - that bipolar downward pendulum happens when I have no focus it seems. It's like I go into a kind of agony and think of all the negatives and powerlessness in my life. 

Though I had a reasonably good day at work, I don't know if I will be ever be stable enough to work full-time again. I don't know if this is the downward mood talking but in honesty when it comes time for me to communicate my ideas in person I falter big time. My memory for things is not so good either. If I stutter though I just keep on talking and usually the idea comes out somehow haha. I think I may need the amount of downtime I have to rest up and regain strength for the next go round of work and activity. Or it could be the downward mood that has me convinced of that.

I will keep positive and if opportunity opens up I will take it. I'd like to be strong enough to 'create opportunity' but just for now we'll see.

Peace and thanks for reading!

Mark