Transfer day a success, but ONE drawback
Hello ladies,
Hope everyone is doing well and keeping your sanity through your IF journeys. As for me, today was the BIG DAY, TRANSFER DAY! Yay!!! I got to the IVF lab at 11:30 on the dot with a full bladder. My transfer was set at noon so the wait with a full bladder was horrible. My RE was running late so he actually showed up about an hour late because he got caught up with another patient. Thank God the nurse let me take a few potties in between so I wouldn't be too uncomfortable.
So here's the big news.....my RE came in and told me that out of the 7 embies, there's one beautiful one he wanted to put in. Of course I've had in my head that I wanted two embies so I just started balling tears. He gently leaned his hand on me and said it's okay to feel this way, that these are important and serious moments, but he wanted to transfer what would be a blastocyst in great shape. He wasn't sure about the others because they weren't developing as fast as they should have been. He said he's going to give it one more day but there might be none for me to freeze. I can't explain to you how I felt when he said that, to know that only one was going in and that none to freeze, meaning an extremely frustrating and taxing fresh cycle again if this doesn't work. My heart just broke, but I wiped my tears and tried my best to enjoy the miracle that was happening before my eyes. I hold this pic of this beautiful little embryo that fought its way above all the rest to be a part of me. I just hope it gets comfortable in there and wants to stay.
I feel bad for being so disappointed that I didn't get to transfer two, and I can be honest in saying that I don't think one will work. I know that's horrible to say but I need to let it out so that I can be excited again. I know an embryo that makes it to a blast is a good quality embryo and I know that I need to give it a fighting chance. I also know that the odds aren't' necessarily higher with two rather than one in my case, I guess two just made me feel more complete with this whole thing.
On the flip side, the doc originally recommend one because of my age and prognosis so I guess it's just meant to be this way. I'm reading this book on mindfulness and meditation and it teaches you to be in the now and not in the past and "what If's" of the future.....I think this is a great time to start practicing it.
And through all this, I still have hope....I know this embryo just needs to stick...and I know I have NO control over the outcome. Once I realize I have no control, the better off I'll be. Problem is I'm the only girl out of three kids and the youngest, I ALWAYS get what I want and this is the one thing that I haven't got yet.
Lord I pray that you make this beautiful embryo stay and become life in my womb...I give it all to you and I'll try not to be negative.
KJ
Hope everyone is doing well and keeping your sanity through your IF journeys. As for me, today was the BIG DAY, TRANSFER DAY! Yay!!! I got to the IVF lab at 11:30 on the dot with a full bladder. My transfer was set at noon so the wait with a full bladder was horrible. My RE was running late so he actually showed up about an hour late because he got caught up with another patient. Thank God the nurse let me take a few potties in between so I wouldn't be too uncomfortable.
So here's the big news.....my RE came in and told me that out of the 7 embies, there's one beautiful one he wanted to put in. Of course I've had in my head that I wanted two embies so I just started balling tears. He gently leaned his hand on me and said it's okay to feel this way, that these are important and serious moments, but he wanted to transfer what would be a blastocyst in great shape. He wasn't sure about the others because they weren't developing as fast as they should have been. He said he's going to give it one more day but there might be none for me to freeze. I can't explain to you how I felt when he said that, to know that only one was going in and that none to freeze, meaning an extremely frustrating and taxing fresh cycle again if this doesn't work. My heart just broke, but I wiped my tears and tried my best to enjoy the miracle that was happening before my eyes. I hold this pic of this beautiful little embryo that fought its way above all the rest to be a part of me. I just hope it gets comfortable in there and wants to stay.
I feel bad for being so disappointed that I didn't get to transfer two, and I can be honest in saying that I don't think one will work. I know that's horrible to say but I need to let it out so that I can be excited again. I know an embryo that makes it to a blast is a good quality embryo and I know that I need to give it a fighting chance. I also know that the odds aren't' necessarily higher with two rather than one in my case, I guess two just made me feel more complete with this whole thing.
On the flip side, the doc originally recommend one because of my age and prognosis so I guess it's just meant to be this way. I'm reading this book on mindfulness and meditation and it teaches you to be in the now and not in the past and "what If's" of the future.....I think this is a great time to start practicing it.
And through all this, I still have hope....I know this embryo just needs to stick...and I know I have NO control over the outcome. Once I realize I have no control, the better off I'll be. Problem is I'm the only girl out of three kids and the youngest, I ALWAYS get what I want and this is the one thing that I haven't got yet.
Lord I pray that you make this beautiful embryo stay and become life in my womb...I give it all to you and I'll try not to be negative.
KJ
Replies
Is it a five day blast? If so, that sounds super promising!