Train Entry

Today has been okay so far. I managed to get about 8 hours of sleep last night, which surprised me since I was expecting to wake up before the alarm went off, but I managed to sleep all the way to 6am, when I had to get up. I did have a scare kinda at 2am when I woke up and thought that I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep, but I did manage and it wasn't bad at all. I'm on the train right now, and I'm tired but can't sleep. I have this thing where I can't sleep when there are strangers around. I don't sleep on buses, planes, trains, all that kind of stuff. I just can't be sure that they won't do anything to me. I know it's a rare chance that someone is going to try and do something on the train, but I can't rest. It doesn't help that I have my laptop with me, so I'm scared that someone is going to try and steal it when I'm sleeping, but I take it with me everywhere. I leave the charger charging, but who's going to take the charger for a laptop they don't have?
I guess if anything I can go try and discover why I don't trust people so much. As far back as I can remember, I haven't been able to sleep in public. Maybe it has to do with the abuse, where I can't even trust my own family, so who can I trust? I'm not sure. Now, I don't know many people I can trust, even though I give out trust fairly easily. I haven't spent the night over at my friend Kenia's house, even though she and I have been friends for a couple years now. On the other hand, I have my friend from the hospital who helped me out with the chairs yesterday, and I would be willing to spend the night over at her place. Maybe it's because she was my roommate at the clinic so I've already been alseep around her and nothing bad happened. I do look forward to getting to know her more.
I'm looking forward to seeing my mom. I haven't seen her since April, so it's been a while. It's funny, when we both lived in the same county, I didn't have the time for her, but now that we are farther apart, I miss her all the time and want to be around her. I think it has to do with me growing up and becoming my own person, and her realizing that and treating me like an adult instead of a child. I think my moving to Miami and marrying Geo made her realize that her baby wasn't a baby anymore. I really think moving to Miami was a great thing for my relationship with her, and a lot of my family. I'm much closer now to my family now that I'm far away from them. I think it's because now I have to put in the effort to talk to them, and I want that relationship since I'm more mature. LOL I might be more mature, but I still miss my mommy!
Overall, food wasn't too good today, but I didn't have too much of a choice. On the train it was mostly healthy, but I did have a ramen. I also had 2 tuna sandwiches, a salad, and 2 Fiber One bars. Breakfast was another Fiber One bar and a piece of chicken, along with a cup of coffee. Oh, I also had a Mt. Dew on the train. I had Mexican for dinner, a half cup of rice and beans, an enchilada and a tostada. It was very yummy!
 

Replies

good2go2001
good2go2001

Thats so cool you get to go spend time with your mom :) Hope you have a great time! Wow there is no way i could sleep in a public place im with ya on that one! Take care and stay safe! Huggzzz
deleted_user
deleted_user

Have a nice time with your mom, it will go fast for you. It is hard to sleep in strange places unless you are really tired or are comfortable. I can dose off just about any place, any time as long as I am tired.
ann54
ann54

how great to be going to spend tme with mom, i understand how it is when they live nearby, its like thier far away and you dont see them much. i could orbally sleep anyway, as long as i was comfortable. have a geat visit.
ZECILKL
ZECILKL

it\'s not that your mom sees that you\'ve grown up.
not being able to sleep on the train i associate with maybe afraid of missing your stop.