tool box scribblin'
ok I could call them coping mechanisms, but that would deny the reality of them in my mind.
I would state that and gloss over what they really mean to me. I have heard others use the term
of tool box and that came to me today as a really great term.
Today at work I thought about the process of going it alone and then coming back to my friends and family
and how that process isn't always easy, smooth or sane. I started to pray to god as I worked today and yet
was so much about picking apart my experience to try and understand it (my loss for my state of mind) - that I realized at last that praying
to god in fact is a way of coping - a tool in my tool box. That I am so afraid of moving forward that I pray to god to deal with the fear - and yet I end up not moving forward at all. I love god but I am treading water here - and I realized that it's prayer and other things that are in my tool box for dealing with the unknowing and insecurity in life.
Writing helps too. Anyways I have to clean up my house. My brother has been staying here with his dog and I have to say we're getting to 'disgusting' here in terms of housekeeping. I need to fix it up.
Replies
I sure need God in my life as well Marky...… I'm glad that you're reaching out for the tools that you need sweetie..... Big hug.....xo
thanks Jan!! xoxo
stoicism is a way I deal with life too. I try and put my best foot forward when faced with a situation that is a mass of unpredictables. In the face of the weirdness of life - I will try and do and stand for something that is the best in the face of all choices. Not the greatest description of it...but what I am realizing is that with this kind of stoicism, I can also forget that
I am a normal person - and I judge my life for not being the best of all possible things as well. I can't do that to myself anymore. I can still use the tool of stoicism - but I can also accept myself for managing my life as it is - for all that it is - and that is OK and good enough/acceptable. I can still aim for more I just also know a day like today is a good day.
I don't know why I am writing all this.
Why ask why, Mark? Let the healing mysteries guide.
My natural talents lean for more to the mechanical than the esoteric. Conditioning a natural engineer to the needs of child prostitution created some genuinely profound ticks and splits. Calling the psychotherapy techniques which helped me past all that yuckery, "Tools" was as natural as breathing to me. Where else would I keep my "Tools" but in a toolbox?
thanks arfie