Took 25 years
It took me twenty-five years and the abrupt departure of my husband to realize something that must have been in front of me the whole time.
My husband is the king of partner breakups.
Every job that has ever gone well, he leaves it for something "better" which never works out for long so he gets mad and dumps that partner and looks for something better. And so on and so on. This is partly why we are financially devastated.
I also figured out that although he hates his current job, he needs it. It is kind of like his last chance to fix his career. And since he couldn't break off that partnership...
He chose to get rid of me. The only partner that he has kept around. But it's like he's driven to do it. Get something going, have things be good, decide he's being cheated or could do better elsewhere, and then breaks the partnership and moves on.
I am the latest in his pattern. Probably the most destructive he's committed because he has hurt our children in the process. But I am fairly certain that I won't be the last. If he stays with this woman that he left me for, then he'll only begin the pattern again with jobs.
He is abandoning others before he can be abandoned. Only this time he picked the one person who would have and always has stood by him through thick or thin.
But he'll have no regrets. He sees no culpability in his behavior. He'll just carry on this destructive pattern until he drops dead.
My husband is the king of partner breakups.
Every job that has ever gone well, he leaves it for something "better" which never works out for long so he gets mad and dumps that partner and looks for something better. And so on and so on. This is partly why we are financially devastated.
I also figured out that although he hates his current job, he needs it. It is kind of like his last chance to fix his career. And since he couldn't break off that partnership...
He chose to get rid of me. The only partner that he has kept around. But it's like he's driven to do it. Get something going, have things be good, decide he's being cheated or could do better elsewhere, and then breaks the partnership and moves on.
I am the latest in his pattern. Probably the most destructive he's committed because he has hurt our children in the process. But I am fairly certain that I won't be the last. If he stays with this woman that he left me for, then he'll only begin the pattern again with jobs.
He is abandoning others before he can be abandoned. Only this time he picked the one person who would have and always has stood by him through thick or thin.
But he'll have no regrets. He sees no culpability in his behavior. He'll just carry on this destructive pattern until he drops dead.
Replies
((HUGS))) It\'s good that you are journaling your thoughts. Keep it up. It will be a huge help
Dude! Thanks for this. It seems to be contagious. I\'ve seen it time and time again and its pathetic. They walk in the flesh never satisfied, nor ever will be unless they change to spiritual walking. They get lost thinking worldly things will lead them to arrive though always leads to destruction and thats where pattern starts all over again with a new victim. I am convinced that when we brush ourselves off and give ourselves lots and lots of self care I even pet my self and hold myself and pretend I am a powerful woman standing outside of myself holding myself. I feel myself crying safely in my own arms and yes I feel a genuine strong love over me. When we do this they get there karma quicker too and have the chance to become better people. Though if we let it eat us alive it does and will and we will self torture and it almost seems like we take there karma and they just keep strutten along and live is honkey dorey for them. Love yourself to the hilt but don\'t be proud and peace is found there. Hugz
Very insightful - thanks very much for sharing this as it has made me think about my own situation in a new way. I hope writing this out is helpful for you; I know that writing helps me a lot.