Too many thoughts

My life is a blessed one but I'd be lying if I didn't say that it overwhelms me at times.  I've heard that God never gives us more than we can handle but I think he gives me way too much credit.  I am a faith driven woman and strive each and everyday, to be a woman of virtue and integrity.  I know that I alone do not posess these abilities, for I am only human and pray throughout each and every moment of my life for His guidence and presence.  I find myself forever in a dialogue with Him and with myself as well.  That is when I realize that I am in God's way and need to butt out.  This weekend was a tough one for me.  For anyone who knows my history knows that I have been in my own apartment with my son since February.  I am not legally separated from my husband nor do I have the desire to go to the next level.  "Limbo" I call it.  My husband threatened to kill himself over the weekend(in an ugly wasted stuper) In 13 years...he's never said this.  My only responce to his call was "This is not the answer" and when he asked me if I would tell our son that he loves him..my resonce was"No I will not !"  He then hung up.  Now as cold as my reponce may come across, the truth is I Love Him.  I love him so much that I won't pity him and I will NOT be a part of him taking the easy way out!  I won't get into all the long details to my weekend but I will say this.  I know he's OK for now but he has left me ANGRY!  If all he's done up to this point isn't painful enough...he considered hurting us in the Ultimate of sefish acts!  When I reached out to his parents( For the 1000th time, they still deny the severity of his pain.)  I know that it is up to the addict to seek help and change, but my heart breaks for him.  His family chooses to look the other way and fail to recognize that by enabling, they might as well hand him the shovel to dig his grave.  I feel so sad, so scared, angry, furious, frustrated and pretty much, just worn out!  I will not take him back.  I can't!  He has got to cry out for the ONLY one who can save him from himself.  So if I may make a request to all my dear friends here at DS and anyone who may read this...Please pray for NICK!  Pray that God will meet him and pick him up.  He needs our prayers so much and so do me and my son.  I don't want to be a widow and I want my husband to be the Godly father he was always meant to be for our son.  Please lift us up.  I thank you for reading this and I will pray for each and everyone of you tonight and always.  Thank you!