Too hard to go on :(

It is too hard to go on.........right now, I feel so shaky. Life is too unfair. I don't even see how I can get out of this. I am so overwhelmed right now by everything! I'm tired of being alone, but I'm scared to love. I can't move on from my ex, but I have to. I'm tired of school! I'm so tired of school. I don't see how I'm gonna make it through this semester with passing grades. I want to call my mama and tell her to just bring me home now. I'm tired. I'm tired of my past. I'm tired of not being in control of anything. My family and my relationship is so much better, but I'm bare ly being a good sister and a good  daughter. I don't know how to love anymore, but my nature caraves love and everything in me wants to love everyone! I don't understand why I have to go through the things I have been through. Everytime I love, I get hurt and/or jend up alone. I can't even keep friends. I want to just go home, and stay there. And actually, I wish I could go into a coma....just go to sleep and not have to worry about anything.....or maybe get amnesia and forget everything and everybody since 2005. I wish life was better. I keep pushing on, to the point where it's my default. I keep fighting, but I'm tired and wish I could give up. I'm broken. I have no control. Nothing matters to me right now. I will try to move on, but whatever happens doesn't matter. 
Everything with my ex feels like the straw that broke the camel's back (almost). I wish things were different.