Tonight
I am dealing with this series of thoughts I have right now.
I just came from 'evening meal' with the sisters - and I helped them with some things afterward.
I feel so close to them tonight - and well comfortable in my room right now too and also with my role here.At 930pm we have a vigil
tonight. I wonder if in a weird way - if I am afraid of committing and will look for any excuse
not to.
I see things that I don’t like here and that I do like. And you’ve heard very much about all of it. There are things within myself that are well supported here and also maybe thwarted as well.
I feel like I am looking at different doors right now that lead to different realities or different stories. I think there was a movie about this as the theme
I'm thinking about where to go if I do
leave here? This is the life I can actually afford. Im wanted here and I can do the work. I'm having a family meeting with my Dad and sister on Monday to discuss things.
Why does it feel a little like the life my family is living a little more real than my own. I will shift gears and embrace my life, and take pride in how I take care of myself for the cards I was dealt.
Replies
I'm really glad that today was a good day sweetie
Maybe it feels odd at times because you came about it in a different way
It wasn't your passion since being a youngster to become a Priest
You came upon it by a different route
And you've been unsure if living in a monestary is the right life for you
There's nothing wrong with questioning it if it's not the place you're happy to call home sweetie
It's great you'll be talking to your family about your option's
I'm glad that today was a good day though!!...xo
Thanks Dear Jan!!!!!
Hugs Mark. Sorry to hear you are struggling with this path. If it’s not for you, it isn’t a mark against you, it is a mark of trying things and making decisions and navigating with whole-hearted intentions.
I know you have been dealt cards that may not be understood by all, but you have friends who also navigate strange situations and reality with a diagnosed mental condition.
I know it’s hard to feel confident when conditioned to follow the pack and path of least resistance. But I do think you are a good person who cares deeply. Maybe not perfect, as none of us are. But a good person nonetheless.
Hugs.
Thanks Nikki!
I always looked up to all the priests I have known in my life, even the ones who gave boring and long winded sermons, that would lull me to sleep. Father Marcel was one such priest. I knew he was originally from Quebec and on the way out, I would exchange a few french words with him and in the few short minutes we spoke after Sunday mass, I learned alot of french that way in the 20 plus years I knew him...
I was a long distant runner back in the 80's and 90's. I tried running a marathon twice and failed each time. I decided to give it one more try but wanted to make it my last since I was getting older and I didn't think my body would hold up to the rigors of running, for too many more years. That day came on april 15th 1996. On Sunday the 14th after Mass that day, I met Father Marcel in the back of the church as I was leaving. I told him I was leaving the following day for Boston to run in the marathon and I asked him to say a prayer that I make it to the finish line. He said he would..... I almost didn't go because I had a terrible cold that day.....Monday came and the race started and it was grueling to say the least. Long story short, I made it to the finish line.
The following Sunday came and I went to mass as usual. I met Father Marcel as I was leaving and he asked me if I finished the race and I told him I did and he congratulated me as he shook my hand! This was an experience I will never forget.
My point is, that no matter how many defects a priest may have, he is in a position to be a positive influence on the lives of many who will remember that priest for the rest of their lives and beyond......
God Bless
thanks Bob! That's a beautiful story and thanks for your wisdom!