tonight
I had a good meeting with S -
after which I went down to the kitchen to help
with the meal prepping 330pm (when I don't work, it's a late afternoon thing for me.)
It's really teaching me the basics of meal preparation and
knowing why it's essential for all of us. It's fun - they whip
up meals with whatever is available in the pantry and so you
get some crazy combinations at times - but also some amazing surprises!
Then I rang the church bell at 430p and lit the chapel
candles. After ringing the bell at 430p and then at 445p and then 5pm
I banged this board thing - that
is an extension of ringing the church bell....summoning folks
to services.
Anyways - la dee da.... I really had a huge hunger for dinner tonight while
I was in the service at 5pm - just before the night meal - and all I wanted
to do was drink and eat to my heart's content - be a little wild or maybe a lot.
Call it sewing oats or goofing off. I wanted to have fun.
The second meal satisfied me a great deal. I calmed down :). We then went to service again.
After "small compline" I took down the candles and prepared
small details around the chapel for tomorrow morning's service.
Then I went into the kitchen to pick up the meals for the boarders
in the rectory- as well I delivered some mail that came for them today.
Then it is now Blue and me time.
I am thinking about these two sides of things that I am living -
the passionate individual with appetites, a sense of humor
and a lust for life - and the focused and detailed contemplative person
that I can be
- it's like two sides - to me
Though we've talked about it extensively - You guys and me - and S and me - tonight I told S that I think this place is good for me as I think it fosters and applies both
sides of my make up - Work at the market forces me to light a fire under
myself to get the work done - and makes it possible for me to indulge my
appetites -
and being at the monastery lets me live with the human condition, wisdom,
caring and service.. with people who are with that same circumstance of being human -
all bouncing off each other with a unified purpose.
I's just like any work place in a way - where people can be sharp- bark orders - or be demanding - have tiffs - display ego - but overall the creed is
here that it's all just part of the larger more important relationship we have here
- In fact S used that terminology tonight when she described my life at Saint Nina's...
She said "You have chosen a life of service" and you are making it work.
She said "You have chosen a life of service" and you are making it work.
With my illness if I listen to one side of me, the passionate or the contemplative too much I can get sick. Again this place couches me in a mitigating medium space. It’s a small life but I am grateful!
It’s helping me and also I am super grateful for social media as I have personal relationships that I’ve really committed to and they’re so nice and lovely.
have a good night guys!!
Replies
It can definitely be difficult keeping both sides of our personalities balanced and happy. It's a constant negotiation with external forces and ourselves. From my vantage point, you're doing a good job. Hope you slept well. Have a great day! Hugs.
thanks judy! ((HUG)))
there ya go getting me scrambling for my dictionary, again. i was a bit surprised to discover that "compline" is a real word, but not too surprised. you are pretty high on my grammatical accuracy scale. i'm not sure i'll ever be able to use the word in my social circles.
the kitchens are what i miss most about communal resources. the sharing of resources really does make for creative cooking.
Tonight we had mango and blueberries for dessert!! So good!!
east (mango) meets west (blueberries). . .
may it be a long and fruitful meetup. . .
i'll have to give that combo a try. it sounds like a match made in heaven.