Tomorrow I get on T

Tomorrow I return to the endocrinologist to get put on T.
 
I am nervously waiting for it, hoping nothing has come up to delay - or worse, prevent - it from finally happening. I am looking forward to it, yet today I have been so excited that I have been bouncing off the walls, mentally unable to focus on anything, afraid for and afraid against.
 
For me, getting on T is the last step -- until such time as I see the techniques and results of bottom surgery have vastly improved. I know it'll take years for T to work its alterations on my body, a second puberty, but just getting on T has been a goal I thought I might never reach for so long......... I doubt I will get any sleep tonight.
 
So much has gone wrong in my life I have come to expect snags and set-backs, to the point that if something goes smoothly, I begin to worry and look for the pitfalls to jump out and get me. Where is the pitfall here? What set-back am I going to hit now?
 
One day, I won't feel I have to look under every rock and leaf to spot the coming troubles; one day, I'll be able to accept it when things go smoothly for me, and be happy.
 
Even now, though, I am confident that I will find a way to overcome any pitfalls and set-backs that do come my way - no idea how, but I know I'll find a way.
 
I hate waiting. Yet wait I must, until tomorrow afternoon, late.