Tomorrow
Good Morning - I have a few minutes before my day gets under way and I wanted to write about my Jennifer. Tomorrow is Jennifer's birthday - always 36 to me, but if she were here on earth she would be 39!! Where does time go? When I look at baby pictures, I can almost touch her, hear her giggle, hear her diaper swish back & forth as she would run from her room to mine @ night. I can see her eyes smile or glare @ someone when she felt she was misunderstood. I can see her holding Hunter for the first time and yet being so tired after 24h labor. I watched as she became a good mom, always one step ahead of Hunter.....Yes, we went through struggles, 5 years of drugs, rehabs, counseling, yelling and at times silence. Yes, at times I questioned what kind of a mother I was....I wasn't always what Jennifer needed - sometimes I didn't even know what she needed....sometimes I was struggling being a single parent with a "high spirited" child....sometimes........
Jennifer, you were such a woman of faith (boy, I sure miss that) - moms are supposed to hold their kids up, right? - the reality is Jennifer would hold me up through life's trials. Jennifer was there when my mom died - She gave me her strength to do what needed to be done as far as her house, etc. I sure miss that. She was always so positive through her cancer, chemo, surgeries.....she was so strong and didn't want anyone's help - I was always so happy when she asked me to come over.
She was a great friend to many - her wisdom, encouraging words and love she gave them is missed today. The sad think is she never saw herself as others saw her. She fought many mental demons and struggled daily. She relied on God and not people and could not wait to see Jesus. She didn't want tears, she didn't want sadness, she wouldn't want me to cry over her - BUT she didn't get it....I loved her more than life itself....she was my life.....I'm so grateful to you, Jennifer for teaching me so many things, for making me a better person.
I love you forever and Happy Happy Birthday (a day early).....your mom always.
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Oh honey...I am so sorry...Cassi's birthday is the 20th. I understand, this time is so hard when it should have been a joyful occasion. I'm sorry.
I wish I could have met Jennifer as she feels as if we would have been "fast" friends. Just that kind of woman that everyone felt better around after having spent time with her. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. :) A truth teller even when it may not have always been "socially acceptable" she was up to the task and spoke her truth. I have always felt this around Jennifer and know that she has made a huge difference in lives and continues to.
Sharing the tender mercies and memories of these beautiful children of ours and their birthdays. Our "Leo's" a fire sign that always burned away what wasn't needed and illuminated what was.
Such a loving and beautiful tribute of your Jennifer. I will be celebrating her alongside of you dearest Vicki.
Loving care and birthday blessings,
XO Joanie
I am sure Jennifer is surrounded by love right now and smiling at you for all the love you gave to her in her short time on earth. I really believe she is in a better place and is no longer suffering. I know it's hard letting go after losing someone you love and I am sure many can identify. I will keep you and your friend in my thoughts and prayers,
God Bless!
I am reading your response, bobinmaine, and even though I know it is heartfelt, I feel I must try to educate just a little on what to say to a mom who has lost their child....I believe she is definitely in a better place than being in this crazy world we live in, however I don't want to hear that right now, especially as moms we want our kids with us...Absolutely I know she is no longer suffering but sometimes that is not comforting...again, we will forever miss them..."hard to let go" of what? my daughter? I will never ever let go - I learn to live with the absence of her as I once knew but letting go? No....You are right, many can identify - that's why I'm here with these amazing and beautiful sisters of the heart who also have lost their most precious children.
I always appreciate thoughts & prayers and I thank you for that.
Vicki, thank you for sharing Jennifer with me. A woman of faith, a loving mom, friend, daughter. A special young woman and I know you are missing Jennifer ' s physical presence here and this hurts beyond what words can describe. May her birthday be filled with memories that comfort your loving momma ' s heart and may the day be gentle.Tight hugs, Linda
Thinking of you today, Vicki, as you go thru this day that mingles joy with sorrow. Wishing your Jennifer a Happy Birthday & hope you feel her near you today & always. Love to you & your precious Jennifer from Charlie & me, Donna
Happy Heavenly birthday, to your Jennifer. I know you miss her and always will. Sept. 1st will be Dean's fifth Angel date. Where did the time go??
I am just beginning to learn how to navigate on this new DS site. I have sure missed my soth. ((((HUGS)))), Julia