Todays outing... swimming, and laying in the grass again! :)
Back to the pool today!! Was so nice... We only have one care right now, so I took the bus... which added about 30 min walk to my pool hour, so a good days exercise! Plus I am pretty sure Rich and I will go for a walk this evening too, so there's another 20 min or so :)
The bigger enlightenment today came in the form of finding myself, or at least progress towards that goal! After my time in the pool I stopped in the park area and had lunch.... My protein bar. (By the way, if you're looking for a good protein bar, you cannot beat the Quest bar! Low net carb, under 200 kcals, no crap ingredients and taste YUMMY! Has 20 gms of protein too!) Anyways, I regress.... oh, yeah, finding myself :)
I laid out my towel in the shade.... ate my lunch... and laid back on the towel. I am learning to let my mind wander where it may. You see, I am one of those people who has to always be doing something. Cleaning, reading, internet, .....eating..... I think it is a form of denial. A way of hiding from things (myself?) that I don't want to (are too ugly to) deal with.... Things from my past especially. Well, this has to change, and I am working on it...
When I lay in the grass I allow my mind to go where ever it decides to go... and in time, my thoughts find their way back to me... This being still is work, but it is good work.... And i believe I must be still to find whats going on inside.
Right now, I have not 'found' anything especially deep, but I think I will... I think if I continue this I will find what I have been hiding from.... It might be a tough discovery, but it is a necessary discovery if I want to recover from years of using food to cope.
The bigger enlightenment today came in the form of finding myself, or at least progress towards that goal! After my time in the pool I stopped in the park area and had lunch.... My protein bar. (By the way, if you're looking for a good protein bar, you cannot beat the Quest bar! Low net carb, under 200 kcals, no crap ingredients and taste YUMMY! Has 20 gms of protein too!) Anyways, I regress.... oh, yeah, finding myself :)
I laid out my towel in the shade.... ate my lunch... and laid back on the towel. I am learning to let my mind wander where it may. You see, I am one of those people who has to always be doing something. Cleaning, reading, internet, .....eating..... I think it is a form of denial. A way of hiding from things (myself?) that I don't want to (are too ugly to) deal with.... Things from my past especially. Well, this has to change, and I am working on it...
When I lay in the grass I allow my mind to go where ever it decides to go... and in time, my thoughts find their way back to me... This being still is work, but it is good work.... And i believe I must be still to find whats going on inside.
Right now, I have not 'found' anything especially deep, but I think I will... I think if I continue this I will find what I have been hiding from.... It might be a tough discovery, but it is a necessary discovery if I want to recover from years of using food to cope.
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