Today was TOO MUCH.... HOW can he be this way ?!

One thought keeps stiring in my mind about earlier today. I keep thinking that he's damn lucky that when he HURT ME today that I didn't have anything sharp in my hands at that time ! IF I had... I just don't know for sure what I might have done. At the very least, I would hope that he would have " thought twice " before continuing to hurt me, AND threaten to hurt me in an even worse way !!!! 

Even AFTER... AFTER mind you... he had calmed down... HE STILL had the f...ing nerve to say that I was LUCKY that he hadn't used his FISTS on Me.... instead of just the TV REMOTE that he had thrown VERY HARD at my FACE !!!!!!!!

LUCKY ????!!!! LUCKY ?!!!.... HOW DARE he use the word LUCKY where it comes to his ABUSE !

ALSO..... WTF..... HOW - and / or WHY - did he think that I would actually laugh, and goof around, with him after what he had done to me earlier today ?! I'm sitting here with a face that's THROBBING IN PAIN... and he thinks that I'm going to laugh at his stupid jokes ?!

The only thing I can think is that he must have been feeling some guilt at what he had done to me, and THOUGHT that " goofing " around with me would make up for it ! MAKE UP FOR IT ????????? 

IF he truly wanted to " make up for it " he could apologize for STARTERS.... and then after that... NEVER EVER.... NEVER EVER hurt me physically EVER AGAIN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.... NOT just " PROMISE " to never do it again... because he's given me WAY too many of those empty promises, but ACTUALLY show me that he WON'T EVER do it again ! 

Wednesday July 25 th, 2018