Today was a war with my mind!
Today I thought started out really well. Then my mind wouldn't let the A rest. Was at work by 7am and by 10:30 the anxiety started to kick into over drive. It consumed me today and I hated it. Felt like I had no controll over my thoughts. Went home and was ok I guess. Husband was in a good mood and we all went out to dinner and grocery shopping. At dinner he made two different comments (joken) about how I never used to give him sex. I asked him why he brought that up and he sid that it still bothers him. Give me a break....If he's getting it everyday now like new lovers with me then don't feed me that it bothers you mentally that last month or 3 years ago that I turned you down. Is this his way of redirecting the blame? What ever! He still won't move his stuff back in. He says you don't know what its like being kicked out of your own house......He dont want to move back in till he feels secure again...What about how I feel! He needed to be kicked out did he forget what he did? He said oh I guess we just wont talk about how I feel.. What a joke. How about we try to fix the wifes heart that you tore out and left her with a bleeding hole that wont heal before we feel bad for you that you didn't get enough sex so you had to run to some tramp...for 4 months not just once... I guess today is one of those bad angree days:( But I sappose that is part of the process. I am glad counseling is tomorrow. I need to vent:)