Today SUCKS...
My first Mom's day without my son. Even though most days' he wouldn't even know what day or holiday it was. I remember one Mothers day when he called and was asking for money, I had to remind him what day it was, he felt awful, said Happy Mums day and then asked for money. I'd rather have that call then nothing at all from him... I MISS him so much, even with all of his problems, we were best friends. I was the only one who could get through to him, even on his bad days, I could calm him down.
I'm upset that even my husband, who has no children, hasn't even thought about my feelings today and hasn't even asked how I'm feeling. He's just insisting I go to my parents house. I got a call from my Mom this morning after she had breakfast with one of my brothers and all she did was bitch and complain about where they took her for breakfast and that they only gave her a gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond. Then I asked if we could come earlier as I was having a bad day, she says NO, she's going to take a nap as breakfast sucked, blah, blah... Asked me if I was going to do the BBQ'ing? I told her NO hadn't planned on it, as I was also a Mom and then she says 'you know you need to let him go'...
We, mom and I were so close, not sure whats going on. I am grateful she's still here with me, but I just want someone to understand what I'm feeling and today it's anger, not that Greg is gone, but anger at everyone around me, sadness but mostly I'm just running on autopilot. No emotions, just want today to be OVER... Don't want to smile, not ready to LET GO...
I couldn't even go on Facebook toady because of all the posts about Happiness, will be glad when all the commercials are over too.
But with all of these feelings, I'm sure Greg is with me, holding my hand, still calling me Mum and he with God and all of you are going to help me make it through this day.
I hope each and everyone of you have a blessed day...
Me
I'm upset that even my husband, who has no children, hasn't even thought about my feelings today and hasn't even asked how I'm feeling. He's just insisting I go to my parents house. I got a call from my Mom this morning after she had breakfast with one of my brothers and all she did was bitch and complain about where they took her for breakfast and that they only gave her a gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond. Then I asked if we could come earlier as I was having a bad day, she says NO, she's going to take a nap as breakfast sucked, blah, blah... Asked me if I was going to do the BBQ'ing? I told her NO hadn't planned on it, as I was also a Mom and then she says 'you know you need to let him go'...
We, mom and I were so close, not sure whats going on. I am grateful she's still here with me, but I just want someone to understand what I'm feeling and today it's anger, not that Greg is gone, but anger at everyone around me, sadness but mostly I'm just running on autopilot. No emotions, just want today to be OVER... Don't want to smile, not ready to LET GO...
I couldn't even go on Facebook toady because of all the posts about Happiness, will be glad when all the commercials are over too.
But with all of these feelings, I'm sure Greg is with me, holding my hand, still calling me Mum and he with God and all of you are going to help me make it through this day.
I hope each and everyone of you have a blessed day...
Me
Replies
This is my fifth Mother\'s Day without my daughter...I\'ve grown an outer shell around myself to deal with today. The first and second years were the worst for me. It is still so new to you and you should handle it just the way you are. No one can tell us to that we need to let them go...we will NEVER let them go because they are still a part of us and always will be. I wish you peace on this day. xoxoxo, Connie
Today is hard,,, I try and keep busy,,and remember it\'s just another day,,,but I will be glad when the day is over....
Yes, today is a hard day and is filled with so many feelings for each of us. Some as unique as we are and others with those common heart strings that bind us together in the most healing and loving ways as one. That inner connectedness that is felt and is so very healing.
So sorry about your mom and I think that is why we come here to BE together in the ways that only we can. There is an understanding here that is vital on this path.
Knowing that you are missing your wonderful son, Greg, and whatever you are feeling is as it needs to be for this moment. Feel it all that you need to my friend as you are. It\'s exhausting work so hoping you have times of pause in the midst. I know that I count on them throughout my days.
Thinking of you and knowing that each of us will awaken to a new day tomorrow.
Loving care,
XO Joanie
While every Mother\'s Day is hard for me, that 1st and 2nd one was especially rough. Just remember that you miss Greg no more on a specific day than you do any other day of the year. It is just a number on a calendar and another day to get through, live through and grow through. I am sorry about how negative your mother is. I understand. I have a terrible mother and I didn\'t even call her today. No point. I so feel your pain about her saying that you \"need to let him go\". My mother told me 12 days after my son died to \"quit your damn crying and get out and find another place to live\" (I was living with her at the time). We do not have to let go of our kids, ever! Embrace their love, energy, memories. They are us and we are them, for always.
Peace. Belinda