Today is not a good day
I had a doctor's appointment for my neck yesterday and have been sleeping since. There is a history of boney growths into the spinal canal from the actual vertebrae not the discs from Ankykosing Spondylitis. my neck is moving less as is my upper spine even though i'm on remicade which is supposed to slow down or stop all of this from happening.
I woke up this morning stressed from sleeping all day yesterday except for the doctor's appointment and from all of the jobs ahead of me.
It seems that I never have time to myself unless its worked in between my obligations. its killing me that I have to take care of everything around here even though I have a partner. she does nothing even though she says she wants to be a true partner and take some of the burden. that in itself stresses me. Heck, these days even a breeze can stress me!
So, today its the HVAC contractor at one of the apartment buildings, my cat of 17 years to the vet, and a therapy appointment, all scheduled for this afternoon. After the therapy appointment it'll be time to pick up the dog from his playground.
Tomorrow doesn't look any better. Just one obligation after another with no relief in sight.
I know I need to have someone else take care of those day to day obligations but so far it hasn't worked. hired an accountant and I've ended up holding her hand and teaching her how to keep books for complex operations.
We have a housekeeper but my partner would have her waiting on her alone and not taking care of the house so it take constant monitoring of the situation to keep that from happening.
The landscaper is new and so needs supervision.
Time and time again I get someone to help and I end up with more work and my partner sits around in bed doing nothing. This is not a partnership!
Still wondering about where, when and how my son is. Sometimes the urge to call him is almost overwhelming. He is poison to me but he is my son and I love him like any other mother does. Having a drug addict/sociopath as a son requires the strength of Atlas to keep boundaries defended and tough love working.
I woke up this morning stressed from sleeping all day yesterday except for the doctor's appointment and from all of the jobs ahead of me.
It seems that I never have time to myself unless its worked in between my obligations. its killing me that I have to take care of everything around here even though I have a partner. she does nothing even though she says she wants to be a true partner and take some of the burden. that in itself stresses me. Heck, these days even a breeze can stress me!
So, today its the HVAC contractor at one of the apartment buildings, my cat of 17 years to the vet, and a therapy appointment, all scheduled for this afternoon. After the therapy appointment it'll be time to pick up the dog from his playground.
Tomorrow doesn't look any better. Just one obligation after another with no relief in sight.
I know I need to have someone else take care of those day to day obligations but so far it hasn't worked. hired an accountant and I've ended up holding her hand and teaching her how to keep books for complex operations.
We have a housekeeper but my partner would have her waiting on her alone and not taking care of the house so it take constant monitoring of the situation to keep that from happening.
The landscaper is new and so needs supervision.
Time and time again I get someone to help and I end up with more work and my partner sits around in bed doing nothing. This is not a partnership!
Still wondering about where, when and how my son is. Sometimes the urge to call him is almost overwhelming. He is poison to me but he is my son and I love him like any other mother does. Having a drug addict/sociopath as a son requires the strength of Atlas to keep boundaries defended and tough love working.
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