Today is Another Day

My mother has had meetings with the social worker at the rehab facility where she is doing physical therapy to try and make her strong enough to get in and out of bed to a wheel chair or maybe more. She has come to the realization that her husband needs to be taken care of and that her sons are not capable of it and that as long as he was in the house, her daughter could not learn to move on and get herself taken care of. The situation is stressful on my sister and her social workers believe that my father needs to be placed or they will have to take her out of the house. This is what I have wanted and had alot of anxiety about but I do not know hoe my brother will deal with it. This is also my mother's fear and she doesn't know what my brother will do. He frightens her I think.
She also has said to me that she doesn't want to come home and be where my father can continue to bother her and drive her crazy with his dementia or have my brother and I take care of her. Probably for the same reasons of dealing with his bullying and bossiness and negativity, she doesn't think she can be restful under my brothers care and also we don't know what we are doing and can't take care of her.
My brother wants her to come home and my father to stay home and my sister to remain there and he and I trade days taking care of them. THis seems insane if not actually illegal to me.
I was having a better day yesterday with some relief that my mother was making some decisions or at least starting the process of it until my brother called me at home after I had left my parents house. Now I am all upset again.
Now he is surprised that my sister doesn't want him around her, that he upsets her and frightens her. He asked me if I knew this and way I dint tell him about it. I was shocked that he hadn't realized this based on the way she acts around him, how she goes to her room and stays there most of the day he is there, how she is always irritated, angry and frightened by him. How she becomes stubborn and doesn't listen to him. He seems oblivious to the obvious. He tells me that she is the same with me and that I am always yelling at her. And I admit I did yell at her often before, but I realized that my yelling at her wasn't working and that explaining and reasoning with her worked better and had stopped doing it for more than a year now. Plus I only saw her once a week usually while he was seeing her everyday. So even if we treated her the same, (which I assure you we don't) I would have only been one sixth as much upsetting to her as he was. His inability to see that my sister is only acting as badly as she does around him and not others only adds to my feelings that he is seriously deficient in common sense or general observation of the world or at least is really blinded when it comes to his own family. He can't be like this with others with the friends and contacts he has. But with his nuclear family he seems to have no consideration at all and takes advantage of us, lies to us, manipulates us and tries to play us against each other. It appears that my brother is not the same person around his family as he is in the rest of the world so he might need some kind of psychiatric help or anti-stress medicine of some kind. The problem is that I can't talk to him. Half or more of anything I say, even the most innocent of statements or questions will get him arguing bullying of trying to instruct me on my deficiencies or stupidity. He does not take what I might say seriously or doubts I know what I am talking about and for some reason feels he has to instruct me how to do things as if I were a child. It is very irritating and so I don't try to talk to him at al lor as little as I can get away with and get away form him.