Today, a date..

So...today I went out on a date -- sort of. This guy I connected with via a dating site, we met for "coffee". He actually had wanted to meet at this other place, an upscale kosher coffee cafe -- but that was where my late husband fell and died as a result of the fall so I said no.  He ate lunch, I watched because I was not hungry. I had a soda. We then went for a walk, and then got some freshly made lemonade. And then he went home and I went home. It was a little strange. I am not sure he is interested in me. I could not get those vibes from him. I usually can read guys but I think I have lost my touch there.  I really am not so thrilled at having to go through all this again. I was so comfortable before. Why does G-d think we need to be taken out of our skins?  Why does he test us so much? Aargh. I just want to live...without the anxiety of worrying about being alone for the rest of my life.  This was not a choice for me.