today

I kind of made some good realizations today about my abilities and how to manage my illness.

a housemate talked to me and asked me how it was when it was all better (in so many words.)

I replied -it's never all better, we're all constantly grappling and struggling with our feelings including those

who have and don't have illness. We all have to manage every day - 

After I wrote about what I wrote about in the previous journal entry - I kind of have had my eye on the prize so to speak.

An eye on adressing the issue of my own goals - and how to keep at them. It's hard for sure. I've had a sense of losing my sense

of focus a lot  - but today I am kind of more present that to my own power of narration. I feel the sadness of this illness

having stole my life and direction. I am grateful for all that I have had in my life along the way, today I kind of also

dipped sad about it. Well, it's just important though with this sense of self awareness about the illness - and knowledge of what I need to do to further goals to keep postiive and move forward. I go back to work tomorrow, and after work I will draw some more.

I have been thinking about my lessons in art that taught me 'representaional' drawings (making things look real) and yet I have also thought about how I tend to look at patterns in life - and seek out to create beautiful patterns in my drawings and art as well.

I think I am going to focus on the patterning right now - I like experimenting with weird, unexpected shapes - and then trying to 

create a pleasant composition with them. And so that's what I will work on tomorrow. This drawing journal has been a great thing.

Peace out friends!