today
there's a young man here at the monastery, his name is Andrei,
he also suffers from mental health challenges.
I've realized he may not get better after talking to him at length, and many times now,
but I've begun to see part of "his need", is that he needs a lot of emotionally accessible people
around him to catch and talk him through things every day. It's his make-up.
. I understand that now and it feels good to be able to help
him at times, though it can be scary too.
It mirrored to me what people must feel like when they're dealing with me, I thought, too.
And so I see aspects of my 'needs make-up' within myself after helping him. It's just something
I know about myself now- and can accept - and not judge - and I need to be self responsible for it -
just like I can accept it and not judge it in others too. As I was driving I so wanted to write it all down
and I just felt very aware of what my challenge but also in such a good place mentally to handle it all
- that I was and felt galvanized to just make
taking care of that aspect of myself as part of my calculus every day.
Then I got home and I did not have need to write this down - I felt super confident
and yet dropping the writing- it felt so weird - like I was two different people -
and I began feeling like I had such a push and pull about all that I originally wanted to write.
So here I am writing it to you. I may have forgotten some of it - but the gist is here. :)
Replies
Yes we all need help sometimes, don't forget that people from an outside view such as the internet can give you an unbiased view. You are doing well in your journey
thanks ccleaver!