to you

 have spent my life running from you, your face, your hands to only be having to see you face to face in a week, to hear your voice again, to shake as I sit on the stand ,as I tell a jury what you did to me. I spent my life running , to watch you on the stand lie and try to weasel your way out of sentacing.I spent my life wondering if I would every be at peace of what you did so I guess next week I will find out.You took so much of me and i plan to take everything from you, The jury will take everything of you and put you in prision , i am stuck in a jail cell in my mind because of you.I want you to suffer as much as I am. i don't know if I will ever be able to stop asking "why" or if i could fully forget the way your skin felt against mine,or the way cigar and whiskey smell. or shake the feeling of being messed up because of you, I dont know if I will ever be able to stop taking medication Some days I feel like im on auto pilot numb as hell, I go thru days of not wanting to be touched not wanting to talk, total saclusion ,guess what? When your in prision you will be touched in ways you will hate buy a guy named Billy and you may be sucluded and Im sure the only thing you will say is ,"I dont like you touching me like that". I'm sure that sentence will come to mind because I"ve said it to you but like you Billy wont care billy only cares about getting off. Like you.